The Genesis of Peyton Vol. 2

Chapter Four

    This has been such a refreshing weekend. It was exactly what I needed. Getting out of that stifling building and into the fresh air that surrounds Peyton has cleansed my brain in a way I knew it would.
    It's over now, though. I have to get on a plane and get back to my real life. I hope desperately that the lack of her won't cause a downward spiral that will inevitably lead me into manic actions.
    I want badly to only be flying home just so I can get my things together, get my job in order and transfer back out to at least this side of the country. Of course, I know the three closest warehouses to Peyton's dorm room, though I didn't tell her I did that much research.
    When I brought it up, she'd been hesitant but for good reason. I have no doubts that she wants to be with me as much as I want to be with her. Moving across the country for a girl that I only technically dated for just over four months does sound insane. We just decided to become a couple again and we don't exactly know how that will go. When we're together, it's perfect but being across the country from each other will be a test.
    I sit next to her on the train for the last time. I can say I will miss the closeness but I will not miss the smells or the stares. New York is progressive enough but people are curious everywhere.
    "I don't want you to go," Peyton whispers in my ear.
    The sensation that goes through my entire body when I hear her voice is unexplainable. It's like in a cartoon when someone pushes down on a TNT detonator and you can see the spark travel all the way down the wire until it reaches the explosives and erupts. The eruption takes place in my heart.
    I reach up to stroke her hair, pushing it away from her beautiful face and tucking it behind her ear. "I don't want to go," I whisper back. "But I'm just through the phone. You can call me whenever you miss me."
    She laughs once, humorlessly. "I'll just call back everytime I hang up, then."
    Her words make me smile and I lean closer to kiss her forehead. I breathe in her scent, trying to store as much in my memory as I can.
    "This is us," Becca says, leaning up from the other side of Peyton.
    I developed quite a friendship with Becca in the short time I stayed with them. She's a genuinely nice person and I'm glad Peyton has her as a roommate. It could've been much worse, I've heard many horror stories.
    We get off the train, my hand glued to Peyton's, and make our way into the airport. They can only take me as far as security so I start walking slower when I see the line forming ahead.
    Becca grabs me around the neck and hugs me. "It was so great meeting you and having you here. Come back soon, please," she says, letting go and looking at me. "We'll both be missing you." She kisses my cheek swiftly before stepping back.
    "I'll wait over here," Becca says, pointing the way we came. I give her one last wave as she turns and walks away.
    I look back at Peyton and she groans, stepping closer to me until her forehead hits my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her and sigh.
    "Thanks for coming," she says, wrapping her arms around my waist.
    "Of course," I reply, kissing the side of her head. "Thanks for getting drunk and asking me."
    She chuckles. "You're welcome."
    I bring my hand around and under her chin, tilting her head up so I can kiss her. She kisses me back and I wish we could stand here like this forever.
    "I love you," I say, every word coming out deliberately, trying fiercely to make her see just how much I mean them.
    "I love you, too." I know Peyton well enough to hear the tears before they even start forming.
    "No crying," I say, looking into her eyes. "You're going to see me in five hours when I FaceTime you as soon as I'm off the plane."
    Peyton takes a deep breath, steadying herself. "I know."
    I glance up at the security line and see it's grown exponentially. I sigh again.
    "I don't want to go," I say, pressing my forehead against hers.
    She doesn't say anything, just squeezes me tighter. If I stand here any long I just might make a terrible yet great decision and not get on this plane at all.
    I force myself to step away from her. Her eyes are enough to make me say fuck it and stay forever.
    "I love you," she says, first this time.
    "I love you more, P," I say, taking a few more steps backward, creating more unwanted space between us.
    She blows me a kiss and I pretend to catch it. I never imagined I would be one of those people that acts like they're in a movie. Peyton makes me feel like we're in a movie.
    Peyton turns and walks over to Becca who instantly wraps her arm around Peyton's shoulders, leading her further away from me. I don't turn around until I can't see them anymore.
    How was I supposed to survive five hours, five days, five months away from her?

    I step out of the airport and scan the cars looking for mine. I spot it easily; the one with the middle aged woman standing out of the sunroof waving her arms in the air. I make my way over and quickly get in the car.
    "Seriously?" I ask, laughing. "Did you have to make a scene?"
    "Oh I didn't make a scene," my mom says, adjusting herself back into a sitting position before leaning over to hug me. "I missed you, how was it?"
I hug her back, I missed her too. "It was great, too short."
    "Did you ask her about transferring?" She asks, letting me go and starting the car.
    Before I left, I had a long talk with my mom about what all of this meant for me. Mainly, if I would mentally be ok if things didn't go how I planned. We talked out a lot of scenarios; if she acted like we were just friends, respect that, if we got back together, discuss ways of making it work.
    Before I saw her in the city, I pictured the quiet, shy girl I knew her to be when she was the new girl in Colorado. I figured she would be uncomfortable in such a big city and convincing her to come back to quiet, safe Colorado would be easy. She could transfer to any college in the state and still be closer to me than she is now.
    But I was wrong. She thrives in the city. She loved the train, the busyness, the fast pace needed for simply walking down the street. I couldn't ask her to leave a place she waited so long to be.
    I shake my head, unwilling to explain that I've actually considered moving closer to her. I'm still riding the high of being with Peyton, I don't want to ruin that yet.
    "We're just going to try the long distance thing for a little bit," I say, trying to force as much confidence into my voice as possible.
    My mom makes an approving sound. "That could be fun," she says. "Still being able to be your own people but knowing there's someone in your corner."
    I like the sound of that.
    "Oh, speaking of," I say, pulling my phone out of my pocket. I click on Peyton's name and then the button that says FaceTime.
    It rings only twice before her face appears, my shoulders relax even though I didn't notice they tensed.
    "Hey, P," I say casually. "Told you, five hours."
    "It's been five hours and thirty-four minutes but I wasn't counting," she says, laughing.
    "Look who kidnapped me," I say, turning the phone towards my mom.
    Mom waves frantically smiling so wide it looks painful. "Hi sweetie, how are you?" She asks.
    "Hi Cami, I'm good how are you?" Peyton replies.
    "Better now that I've got my girl back," my mom says. I roll my eyes.
    "Take good care of her," Peyton says.
    "Alright," I say, turning the phone back to me, "quit talking about me like I'm not here," I joke.
    Peyton giggles. "How was the flight?"
    "Long," I say, my voice quieter. "In the wrong direction."
    "I miss you," she says softly.
    "I miss you," I say back, ignoring my mom's aweing.
    We look at each other through the screen for a few minutes, silently. The urge to reach out and touch her face is still there though my mind knows it's impossible.
    "I have to get ready for class tomorrow," she says, hesitantly.
    "Ok, I'll call you before bed," I say, trying to hide my disappointment. No amount of time on the phone will equal any length of time in person but this was no where near enough.
    Peyton smiles and waves. I wave back as my mom yells her goodbye. Then she's gone.
    I take a deep breath and force myself to think about all of the good things. Peyton was mine again, officially. She said she never stopped thinking about me or wishing for me just the way that I had. We were meant to be together and I was determined to let no time or distance change that.