Never Let You Go

67

"No! He can't be."

I argue.

"Lexus, hes gone."

"No. I just saw him, he promised he would get clean. He wanted to meet Nicole..." I start to choke when I start crying. Niall pulled me in for a tight hug.

"Its going to be okay baby girl."

"No its not!" I snatch away from him.

"I'm so fucking tired of losing everyone I love Niall. Everyone is leaving me!"

Niall pushed me against the wall, hands pinned above my head.

"I'm trying to be sensitive here, but I need you to get your shit together. We can't have one of those famous Lexus runaways. I need you Lexus. I need you here to hold me, to help me, to love me. I just need you. I can't lose you again baby. So I'm only going to say this once. You need to calm down, if you want to scream and yell at me I'll let you, but you have to be done before the kids get here and you can't leave me."

I nod my head, he released my hands.

"I'm not going to tell at you Niall. Just please hold me." He pulled me tightly into his chest, picking me up and sitting down on the couch, so im straddling him.

"I love you Lexus- Marie." He looked me directly in the eyes.

"I love you Niall James." I gently pecked his lips, he wiped my tears away.

"I can't wait until I can call you my wife."

"Niall.."

"Yeah baby?"

"Its not going to be the same without Louis there." I started crying again.

"Hey hey. Look at me." He tilted my face so we could make eye contact.

"I promise you our wedding will be perfect. I know it would be better if Louis could of shared our day with us, but the choices he made led up to the shooting. You know that. We can't feel bad about something we didn't do, you tried to help Lexus. You did everything you could. " I nodded my head in agreement.

"Mum picked up some wedding catalogs, do you wanna start planning things? It will take your mind from Lou."

"Yeah. Let's do it. We should start with invitations and colors."

"Our colors should be green and white."

"Like a pale green?"

"Sure. Its still green."

"Okay, yeah that will be cute."

"Niall we need to figure out where its going to be."

"Well I was thinking we could have it in Ireland. Back at my old church."

"That's too far Ni."

"No its not, I talked to the boys and the girls. They said they can afford a ticket, we'll be paying for everyones hotel rooms though."

"I don't know Ni."

"I called your grandma too."

"I completely forgot to call her."

"Don't worry about it babe. I explained everything too her. She's going to come down next weekend to be with Nicole."

"I could never tell you how much I love you babe." I lean in to kiss Niall, but stop when I hear the door open.

"Hey Lexy." Lincoln smiles at me.

"Hey buddy. Do you wanna watch a movie?"

"What movie?"

"Whatever you want. Me and Niall are gonna go to the store, we'll be back in an hour so you have sometime to choose. Call us when you think of it."

I make my way into the kitchen to find Niall's mom.

"There's mommas pretty girl!" I grab Nicole out of her high chair and tickle her causing her to giggle.

"Niall and I are gonna go to the store, do you need anything? "

"No. I'm fine. Thank you." She smiles.

"Nicole does need more formula though. " I smile and look down at my smiling baby.

"Are you being a fat girl?" I play with her, making her laugh.

Maura reaches over to grab Nicole from me.

"No, were going to take her with us." I smile.

"Lincoln too?"

"He said he wanted to stay but if you want to be alone for a while we can take him."

"No, I love spending time with them."

"Thank you Maura. We'll see you in a bit."

I walk out into the living room and strap Nicole into her seat, giving her a toy to play with.

"Niall! Are you ready?" I shout up the stairs.

"Yeah, I'll be down in a minute love."

"Okay, I'm going to be in the car."

I take Nicole out to the car and play with her while we wait for Niall.

"I think she might just be the cutest baby ever. " Niall smiles at me when he gets in the car.

"What're we getting at the store baby?"

"The TV you mentioned."

"Thought you were against that?"

"Well I got over that."

He smiled and pulled out the driveway.

"Niall..?"

He hummed in response.

"After the wedding, I want to have another baby."

"Really?"

"Yeah really. I want to have a baby that's ours."

"Nicole is ours."

"You know what I mean."

"And you know what I mean, I don't ever want to tell her that she's not mine. I think we should keep our past from her."

I nod in agreement.

*I feel like you guys needed a happy chapter (: I love you all.

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