Never Let You Go

44

Lexus POV

Niall saw what I was scared to show him, he showed me how much he truly loves me. He's seen me at my worst, at my breaking point and he's still by my side. He had Harry drive my car back to my dads, and him and I are in his rental car. My hand has been in his since we got into the car.

"I want to hear more ." he broke the silence, interrupting my thoughts.

"What?"

"Tell me everything, all of the things that's ever caused you pain. Everything your mum has done. All your heart breaks, everything Lexus. "

"There's not enough time for that."

"If we have to we can drive down to Florida instead of flying."

"When I was 6 we moved from our first house, away from my dads parents. It tore me apart. My grandma was my world, and they tore me from her. When I was 7 we moved back, my parents started fighting in front of me. When I was 9 we moved to Memphis, my whole family moved in with my moms family. That's where Lincoln was born. When I was 11 we moved to new Hampshire. We lived there for a while and then we moved back to Florida. That's when I realized my parents were drug addicts. That's also when I found out my mom was a cheater. " I started choking on my words.

"At 13 we moved to north Carolina, to be with my moms family again, they sold drugs. So they moved a lot. Where ever they went we went. In 5th grade both of my parents went to jail and I lived with one of my best friends, but they stole all of our things and mis treated me while I was with them. When my mom got out of jail we had to move in with her old drug addict friend, in a 2 bedroom trailer. When my dad got out we saved up money and moved to Seattle. By that time I was pretty much a grown up, I was the only one in my house when thought like an adult. " I started crying at the thought of my childhood. Niall rubbed my thigh, trying to comfort me.

"In 7th grade my uncle moved up to Seattle from Florida, to get away from all the drugs. After about 6 or 8 months he got shot. For no reason. " I started full out balling, I couldn't even breath.

"Its fucked up, y'know? He moved from one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in Florida and he comes here and gets shot." Niall pulled over so he could calm me down. He pulled me into his arms as I just cried to him.

"After he died my parents started fighting even more. My mom started blaming it on me. That's when she truly started hating me. That year I realized I was just a trophy for my mom to show off. She didn't really care for me, she just cared about what people thought about her. She always said when I was little she wanted a little boy, but I didn't think anything of it. After Lincoln was born I started getting less attention, I understood I mean yeah of course the baby needs more attention. But when he turned 3 she stopped telling me she loved me. Shed only tell me about twice a week. I started arguing with her a lot. 6th grade was the first time she told me she hated me. I'd never forget what she said. 'You stupid bitch, I've hated you since the day you were born.' I didn't understand, that night was the first night I tried to kill myself, I took a house key and tried to cut my wrists. My cousin Drake found me and held me while I cried. We never talked about it again. I started pretending like everything was okay." I looked up to see tears in Niall's eyes.

"Keep going baby." He kissed my forehead.

"I became friends with Destiny in 7th grade, we were always together. I started depending on her to keep me happy. She didn't mind, but after a while I started to feel bad. I started keeping things from her in 8th grade, that was the year I started drinking. It was the only way to get away from my thoughts. In 9th grade my mom started lying to the cops, telling them he was beating her. He went to jail, I went to my grandmas. That was the worst 3 months of my life. I didn't have anyone there, my grandma doesn't understand it. They were only determined on my success, they didn't care what I went through." I stopped to catch my breath.

"When I cam back from Florida Nate and I started dating. A few months into sophomore year is when he started hitting me. I told my mom the first time it happened, she told me I deserved it. We started fighting more and more. Three months before school ended I killed her. I snuck into her room in the middle of the night and stabbed her repeatedly. The police found a used condom on the ground and they figured it was the guy she was cheating with, because I carved whore into her chest. They couldn't track the guy down though. After that my dad was a mess, he was heartbroken, so was my brother.  I told Nate, he told me he was proud of me. A few weeks later I wouldn't have sex with him, he told me if I didn't then he would tell the police it was me. I told Destiny and she said it was a joke, that went on until I ran away." I started to calm down. Niall tightened his grip around me.

"Junior year I started having nightmares, they're so real. That's why I don't like to sleep, I'm scared to see what the next one will be. They're always the same thing, but with a few details changed . I'm always in my old highschool, with someone I love being trapped and tortured, they always scream for my help. I never get there in time. The man who killed my uncle comes up and kills them right in front of me.

"Lexus I love you more than anything in this world, you're the most amazing girl in the entire world. I would give my life to see you happy. I really would." I shoot Niall a smile and kiss him.

"Can we please go home now Niall?"