Never Let You Go

54

7 months later.

"Niall? Can I hang out with Will and Jake after school today?" Lincolns voice rang through my ears.

After Lexus' funeral Lincoln asked me of he could live with me, of course I said yes. I could never say no to that adorable kid.

"Where at?" I ask.

"Probably Jakes house."

"Can I talk to Jakes mom?"

"No."

"Then no you can't."

"Why?" He whined.

"Because I don't believe that your going to Jakes house. "

"Why?"

"Because Jakes a bad kid."

"Why do you think he's a bad kid?" He shouted at me.

"Why do you think you can shout at me?"

"I'm sorry. But can I go to Jakes house?"

"No."

"Ugh. Your a faggot Niall." He stomped to his room.

"You better be getting ready for school" I shout to him.

***

"So there's this really cute blonde in my marine class ."

"Harry, I don't give a shit. I'm not going on any dates ."

"So your just going to die alone?"

"Yes ."

"Niall why are you being such a bitch?"

"What?"

"Lincoln told me you were being a bitch this morning too."

"I'm only a bitch to him because I wouldn't let him go to Jakes house." Harry begins to talk but gets cut off by my phone ringing.

"Hello?"

"Mr.Horan?"

"Yes."

"This is the assistant principal at James Madison Middle school."

"Okay..."

"I'm sitting here with Lincoln, today he started a fight in school."

"What? Are you serious?"

"Yes. I would like you to come down to the school and discuss his punishment."

"I'll be there soon." I sigh and hang up.

***

"Hi Mr.Horan, I'm Mrs.Murphy. " I shake her hand.

I sit down next to Lincoln and get ready to listen to what she has to say.

"Lincoln started a fight with another student today."

"Well why'd he start the fight?" I look at Lincoln.

"Because Dakota was talking shit."

"About?" I ask.

"Lexus." He mumbles.

"What?" I don't believe him.

"He said Lexus deserved to die."

"What?" I get sorta angry and look at the principal for an explanation.

"They were talking of people they've lost in class today, and Lincoln brought up Lexus and then explained to the class about her death." I look at her with disbelief.

"And he's being punished?" She nods at me.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"I don't appreciate that type of language in my school."

"Do I look like I give a fuck what you appreciate?"

"I think its time for you to leave, and you can come back when your more calm."

"Fuck you." I stand up and storm out the room, Lincoln following behind me.

***

"So the teacher thought it was okay what the other kid did?" Zayn questioned Lincoln.

"COULD WE ALL STOP FUCKING TALKING ABOUT LEXUS?!?!" I scream at them.

Everyone quiets down and pays attention to me.

"I'm sorry." Zayn says quietly.

"Why can't we ever talk about Lexus?" Lincoln questions.

"Lincoln." Zayn warns.

"No. I would like to know why I can't talk about my fucking sister "

"Lincoln. Stop." I growl.

"No! Why can I not talk about my fucking sister?!"

"Because I fucking said so!"

"Your just mad. Because Lexus' death was all your fault. " my hand collided with his cheek.

Lincoln looked at me with hard eyes, clenched his cheek and walked away.

"Niall." Zayn questioned.

"Leave me alone. "

"No! You can't treat him like that! He's right! He should be able to talk about his fucking sister."

"Why don't you fucking raise him then!" I storm off to my room. To spend another lonely night crying myself to sleep.

***

Its 3:56 am. Now I know how she felt, Lexus used to stay up all night alone crying to herself, dealing with her monsters alone, and now I see why she had no hope for anything. Now I see why she was so depressed. I'm just as broken as she was, I might as well be dead too. Losing Lexus killed me. I died right along with her.

To get my mind off of things I decide to go clean the kitchen up from the mess that I left from making dinner. I spend 30 minutes cleaning the kitchen of every spot before I make my way back to my room. I stop when I hear sobbing, when I realize its coming from Lincoln's room I decide to go check on him.

I walk into Lincolns room to find him with a knife in his right hand, making his way to his wrist that's already covered in blood.