Something about edd

Chapter 13

"EDD WILL YOU STOP WALKING ALREADY I JUST WANNA TALK TO YOU..YOUR TAKING WHAT HE SAID THE WRONG WAY ...EDDYS JUST WORRYED ABOUT YOU"Ed's sneakers squeaked against the polished floor as he jogged at a fast pace attempting to catch up to The sock wearing boy,when he heard his name being called Edd stopped and turned on his heels coming face to with a slightly annoyed but very concerned ed. "ED NOT NOW"he said grabbing on his sleeve and pulling it down so that it covered his hand "not now I can't talk now" he whispered

"double d I'm worried about you...eddy is worried about you...you can't expect us not to freak out a little when you start asking us to help you fight people!!!" Ed's hands threw themselves in the air as he stressed his point.

"No not fight I want to defend myself ...I I don't want to be a weak fag anymore"edd said as he bit down on his bottom lip trying to keep himself from crying, he seemed to be doing to much off that lately

"DONT SAY THAT!!! D YOUR NOT THAT WORD ...your better than a stupid word, your better then that." Ed sighed "I get the whole defend yourself thing really I do and I'm sure eddy will help you just give him a bit...i will too ...your not what seth says double D!"

Edd nodded truthfully he had never really thought over his own sexuality in depth ,although being somewhat feminine he could see were most came from with the assumption. In fact he had never really had a crush on anyone before, sure Nazz was pretty but his attraction to her was meaning less.What if he was Edd wondered how would his friends react,

"What if ...I did like feel attraction to.."

"If your into dudes good for you buddy your...your a good person D a good friend and I don't give a fuck if you like dicks or chicks, hell you could probably date your cactus and we'd still be friends... you don't deserve the shit they give you thats why were gonna come up with a plan to get back at that dick Seth and his asshole friends!!!"eddy interrupted with a large grin

"We don't care who you date as long as they treat you good!" Ed added, Edd felt the tears brimming in the corner of his eyes. He was truly speechless at his friends acceptance. They were his family, they were everything to him,hell without eddy and ed, Edd wouldn't still be breathing. "r really!?" "Of course D your are friend always have been always will be!!!" Ed answered putting a supportive arm around his shoulder and they headed back to the culd-A-sac skipping out on there afternoon classes.

The bell rang as Kevin walked thought the halls in search of his dork, Kevin was beginning to get worried so he decided to leave early thinking the eds might have gone home. He left through the front door and began the short trek home catching a familiar beanie wearing boy ,a giant in a green jacket and a 'hobbit' walking side by side together down the sidewalk towards the culd-A-sac. "Don't worry double d We got this"the kind giant nodded with a smile. "Oh this is gonna be sweet Sockhead REVENGE WILL BE OURS!!!"eddy said gleefully ringing his arms together "EDDY?!" Edd screeched. Why aren't they in class, and what are they up too,it had been awhile sense eddy had done any scamming, Kevin thought well he watched the three from a distance feeling a familiar feeling of jealousy that seemed to consume him with anything edd related. But he remembered edd wasn't his dork and jealous was soon switched out for heart break. As ed put his arm around double D in nothing more than a friendly manner Kevin could feel his stomach twist. Kevin just stood on the sidewalk and watched the three walk off further down the street eventually going to Ed's, he cringed at the head ache starting to form and walked to his own home to sleep while he tryed to get his mind off the raven haired boy.

-meanwhile at Ed's house-

Ed flopped onto his unmade bed as edd started to clear some Landry off a chair folding it and placing the dirty cloths in a bin as he went. Ed watched as the sock headed boy sat down neatly crossing his legs in the process and eddy jumped into a bean bag throwing himself against the chair multiple times attempting to get himself comfortable. "Okay I got an idea!" Eddy practically sang as he began to relay everything to the two boys explaining every individual detail with Care. After a while it began to feel like they were kids scamming the neighbour hood for jawbreakers. When the sun began to set Eddy and Edd began there walks to there separate homes. "See ya tomorrow sock head "He smirked and left for his house leaving edd on the sidewalk glancing up at a certain red heads bedroom window. Was edd gay???he didn't know but he couldnt help but wonder what Kevin was up to at this very moment and how he would react if he knocked on his door.

-a little while later-

Edd stood at his bed room window later that night fiddling with his telescope and thinking the day over.As he zoomed in on various Constellations he let his mind mull everything over immediately thinking back to his meeting of the boy in the washroom and his own questions about his feelings towards Kevin. He had read numerous books on physiology and the inner workings of the human brain but couldn't seem to understand himself. Was that 'delusion' really what he wanted to be, he couldn't help but think that maybe just maybe the answer was yes. Had telling ed and eddy that he wanted to defend himself been the right thing to do? Edd got up from his seat and walked to the hallway mirror rubbing his temples "if it happened once..." He thought as he stared at his own reflection. But As he looked at himself he couldn't help but feel badly about his image, his round face looked childish ,the bruises on his arms outlined the hateful marks he left on himself almost daily and his hat covered something so much worse. He looked so weak.He couldn't help the tears that came next, he couldn't help but feel broken and crazy standing at a mirror wishing for an imaginary friend to come and tell him how to improve. His tears soon turned into sobs as he sat down in the hallway debating calling ed when he felt a hand on his shoulder looking up he couldn't help but recognize the dog tags and beanie of the person standing over him.

"Hello double D" the figure said with a small smile while he crouched down and sat across from him leaning his back up against the wall.

"Am I ...crazy?"edd asked genuinely concerned about the answer to which his Doppelgänger smirked and shrugged

"thats not something you should ask your delusions now is it?"he replied smugly before changing his tone to understanding one "but I as your subconscious would disagree with saying you are."

"What's wrong with me?" Edd asked tears starting to form once more "so broken that I'm talking to imaginary friends" he let out a hollow laugh and slowly shook his head. "I can't stop crying!"

"Nothing's completely broken...you can still fix it" said the doppelgänger "Edd your not weak like everyone thinks ...next time some one throws a punch Throw one back, make those who try to hurt you fear you...you don't need Eddy's help to do so...just calm down it will be okay!!!"

"But...what if I am ...weak?"edd asked as he traced his arms and the scars that always seemed to burn Through cloth sleeves. "I hate me...look at them horrible horrible horrible!" He said as he bought his sleeves up and showed his marks to himself.

The boy shook his head watching Edd's movements "Edd your scars mean nothing now, choose to defend yourself"

Edd nodded as his 'friend' stood up from his spot on the floor "Edd you'll be okay" and with that he left going back to wherever imaginary people reside.

"I don't want to do this anymore" Edd muttered quietly to himself turning his eyes up to the ceiling letting empty tears overflow down his cheeks.

Kevin sat on his bed wondering what the hell he was doing. he had gone home early only to fall asleep for a few...hours. He couldn't help but sigh loudly as he threw his arms over his head and fell back into the comfort of sheets. "What's the point of any of this!!!"he muttered angrily as he grabbed his phone to check the time. Soon becoming lost in his thoughts, really there was no point in liking Edd as he made it quite obvious that he didn't have the same feelings as Kevin. besides Edd had other bigger things to deal with, he didn't have time for some depressed little jock who stood up for him once. Still thought Edd's words remained in his head,

Don't leave me Kevin ...I may not feel the same way, but don't leave me behind.

Kevin wrapped his arms around his waist attempting to remember Edd's arms around him, he remembered the marks on Edd's arms and wanted to know every story, every bloody dirty little secret and protect him from all who wished harm apon him. He couldn't help but worry only to immediately push those thoughts out of his head, Edd was fine he said multiple times in an attempt to convince himself however he had to admit that something had been off with the beanie wearing boy at lunch and could quite possibly lead to him hurting himself again. Something Kevin was no longer willing to risk, that was it he thought it didn't matter if edd didn't feel the same Kevin still cared about him. He quickly shoved on his shoes and headed for the door.