Something about edd

chapter 24

Edd's fingers trembled as he dialled that all too familiar number into his phone and hit call. He was home and was once again alone, however he had the beneficial taste of Kevin's lips still on his own. He listened as the call went to voice mail and tired again.

Once more he was put straight to voice mail. He sighed , put down the phone and wrapped his long arms around his knees drawing them closer to his chest. He stayed like that until his phone began to vibrate. Quickly he picked it up and held it to his ear.

"Hello Eddward...is all well?" His fathers tried voice rang out quickly reaching edds ears.

"...I have to tell you something...you might not want to hear" Edd bite his lip, saying he was scared was an understatement...he was terrified.

His father let out a loud sigh "well then Eddward what is it?" With each word his voice growing louder.

"I I ...I m may-"

"Dont stutter!" His father demanded

"I may be attracted to ...males" Edd said quietly.

There was silence on the other end off the line and then what sounded like weeping

"Father I ...dad?" Edds attempts at speaking were met with more silence "dad I love you"

"Edd I ..." and with that his father hung up

Edd let a loud sob flow through his body twitching slightly as he cried.

His phone sat on the bed beside him

He should call ed.

He should call eddy.

Hell, He should call Kevin.

Edd pulled up his sleeve and looked at the mostly healed marks from the weeks before. The hurting was too much he couldnt take it. He had been rejected by the person he wanted acceptance from the most.

Edd let another loud sob escape his lips as he moved off his bed and reached for the small black box in his desk. He let out a hollow laugh realizing that it was no longer there, the last time ed had been over he had taken it away. he moved from his room to the hallway.

His eyes met the hallway mirror and his reflection looked back at him. It didn't smirk this time it just stared at him as he stared back. His family wanted perfection and Edd could never give them what they wanted.

He raised his fist but couldnt break the mirror. Edd wanted nothing more then to run through the house ripping up every single yellow note off the walls. They were like wallpaper now. He let out a laugh when the thought occurred to him that as a child he loved those notes. He looked forward to getting them.

He remembered how much he vouched for his parents always making excuses as to why they weren't around so they wouldn't look bad to the neighborhood.

Every I love you were just words doused with cyanide, Edd couldnt take it. For the first time in his young life Edd truely hated them.

Every time he had used the 'accident' as an excuse for his parents behavior every sympathetic smile given to him by his mom to every demand from his father.

He rubbed his eyes on his sleeve once again catching the scars.

"What...why did I do this to myself?" He whispered "how do I fix myself"

"Edd ..." said a familiar voice

He looked up catching a copy of himself staring back at him

"Edd...you will be okay..okay?" Edd looked at the boy again he looked ..smaller then before his once skinny black jeans looked baggy and he was practically swimming in his grey hoodie. The only thing that seemed to fit was the beanie on his head. He wasn't smirking ether.

"Edd your scared and your sad...you have to be okay!" Double D swore he saw him crying.

His subconscious looked at him "you need to go find some one right now...your thinking about hurting yourself again...I have to protect you...but I can't do that anymore...I can't fight for you right now...Edd we are broken ...please go find someone" Edd looked toward the door and his mirror self was gone.

He nodded running back into his room he grabbed his shoes, keys, and phone. He jumped down the stairs and ran out of the house eventually finding himself at Kevin's door.