After summer

Chapter 11

But I couldn't turn her down. "Okay. "

"Yayyyyyyy. " she said squealing like a child.

Maybe this would get my mind off Cole and that weird dream.

********
It has been a week since I've been avoiding Seb and Cole. I was avoiding Seb because I couldn't face him. I couldn't face him without feeling guilty.

I was heading to my poetry department for my last mid term paper. Its been one stressful week. TGIF!

I'll be leaving for grandmas house this night, Tasha had already gone home because she was done with her own exams. Lucky her.

I got into the department and made my way to class. Getting in I find a sit at the back. Placing my things beside me, I take a sit, waiting for my professor.

Professor Williams gets in and announces the beginning of the test, passing out the papers.

Poetry was one of my favorite courses because I could just be myself on a sheet of paper. I could write about my fears on paper and not be judged. I could write about love and not feel stupid. I could write about the worst heartbreak ever and not feel like a total shitface. I could be me. Lily Reinhart.

I turn the paper and look at the topic.

Social anxiety.

He really went all out today. I pick my favorite pen and start writing :

Social anxiety is,
Hearing people laugh near you,
Not talking because you're afraid what you'll say would be judged,
Keeping quiet in a conversation with three people,
Not being able to go anywhere alone,
Staying inside all day,
Hating when the teacher asks you a question in class,
Eye contact,
Eating in front of people,
Counting money before you pay,
Not leaving voice mails,
Paying for things at a shop,
Always preparing what to say,
Feeling embarrassed all the time.

Social anxiety is literally the worst.
You're always afraid no one likes you,
Every Conversation you aren't in is about you.
Not adding your opinion in fear of what others would think,
Not doing something new or bold,
Constantly feeling watched or judged,
Knowing you will never be good enough.
Knowing that you're the replaceable one,
The least important,
The annoying one,
The anxious one.

When I was done writing I assessed the paper three more times before mentally giving myself a high five for my job well done.

I put all my things in the right places and stand up, making my way to the desk to submit my work. I just hope he likes it cos I put all my heart into writing it and it wasn't easy.

I handed the paper to him to which he just collected and nodded. Taking that as my cue to leave. I exit the class.

I'm finally done, meaning I'm leaving this place now. I was making my way out of the department building when I tripped on something.

Honestly, I was expecting to land on my butt hard. I closed my eyes waiting and waiting for the fall and the loud thud but there was nothing. I slowly opened my eyes to find a pair of blue ones looking down at me.

I closed my eyes and opened them again hoping this is all a dream and Cole did not just catch me but not everything is what we want it to be. I couldn't form any correct words, I was just staring at his pretty blue eyes.

"Are you okay? " he asked and that cut me out of my trance like state. I stood up straight and pretended to brush off dust from my clothes.

"I'm fine. " I managed to say. "Thank You. " I whispered and began walking away from him.

"Wait! " he shouted and stopped in my tracks but I didn't turn around to face him, he jogged over to me.

"Can I drive you home? " he asked with pleading eyes.

drive me home? No. Never. That's what i wanted to say but what came out of my mouth shocked me and him..

"Sure. " I said biting my lower lip and his shocked face turned into a smile. He looked so hot smiling like that.

I started walking ahead of him but he caught up to me and entwined our fingers together and that alone sent pleasures all around my body.

I didn't bother pulling my hand away from his because I liked it.

This felt right. My hand in his.

I just wished it could be like this forever.