Life's A Bitch But We Can Do This // OneDirection

Chapter 6

(A Few Days Later)

Hannah's POV

So it's been about 5 days since we met Niall and Zayn, not a word since. Isobel's been acting strange too. Like she's slowly returning to her old ways. I dont know what to do.

I've been sat on twitter for about half an hour, waiting for Isobel to tweet something and for Niall to reply to my DM. I had every urge to cry. What if something's happened? She's not been at school all week and I'm getting worried.

I decide to get changed, and ask my mum if I could go to Isobel's, she said yes as she had to take my little brother out. Isobel's house was a bus ride and a 15 minute walk from mine, i didnt mind.

I tweeted her

@_Decode_xo If you don't see my text, I'm coming to yours, dont care if your in your PJ's or whatever.

I texted her the same thing just swapping text for tweet. I headed off to her house, my earphones in my ears Live While We're Young from the boys' Take Me Home album on full. I got on my bus and continued to check twitter.. I saw a tweet from Isobel's co-owner and step-cousin, Steve. It read;

At the hospital, visiting my lovely cuz who owns this twitter account... DM this account if you need me to ask her anything.. -Ste+Sophii x

 I felt sick. One of my best friends, in hospital? I mean, its not the first time, but how did i not know? I got off at the usual stop and waited for another bus, I went to the hospital, ran the directions the receptionist gave me and walked into the room my best friend for almost 3 years was lying, pale and all kinds of tubes and everything around her. I saw Steve and Sophii and just broke down.

Isobel's POV

(Same day, just earlier)

I'd had enough, after seeing Zayn a few days ago all i got was hate. I couldnt do this.

If you werent aware, I'm a self harmer. I never wear dresses or shortsleeved tshirts anymore. I dont wear shorts that go any higher than the top of my knees and even then i wear leggings. And right now i'm wearing my stepdad's top he gave me on the day he left, and a pair of Pj shorts. I'd been talking to Zayn all night untill it began getting light, he said he really needed to sleep for their interview tomorrow. I, on the other hand, i've been sat reading all the hate messages since 7AM. it's now 10AM.

I'd had enough.

It was too much

I'm ugly

I'm a whore.

Zayn doesn't really care.

I should kill myself.

I should cut myself untill i die. 

I'm worthless.

It all went downhill since my mum told me my dad was moving out. Hannah took me out for the day to take my mind off it, and thats when we met Zayn and Niall. I wonder what Zayn's doing? But like the 'Haters' said, He doesn't care and he never will.

I walked to the bathroom, the house was quiet, I forgot my mum has a doctors appointment today. I stared into the mirror. I hate how i looked. I was fat, too pale, my eyes had become grey, they were a  bright blue the day Hannah and I met Niall and Zayn. I sat on the side of the bath and cried. There it was. The urge, strong and thick. I stood up and reached up to the top shelf where only I put my stuff and found my "safety razor blade". The cool metal made me shiver. I sat in the bath. I took my top and Pj shorts off and pressed the razor against my hip, i dragged it slightly. Feeling unsatisfied I tried again, but on my stomach, I pressed harder and tears fell from my eyes. My phone vibrated but i left it. Once my phone stopped vibrating Little Thing's started playing. I must've paused it just before Niall's solo. I cried and said sorry multiple times even though nobody was there. There was no satisfaction from the two cuts, just pure pain. I felt myself drift out of conscienceness when the song finished.

That was it.

I'd done it.

I'm going to die.

I'm sorry.

This wasn't meant to happen.

I deserve to die though

I'm ugly.

I'm dying.

Those were all the thoughts that flew round my brain untill all my senses slipped.