Chicago's Girl (K.S.)

"I Don't Want To Be Here"

A few days later. At the Firehouse.  

I was playing the rope puling game against the truck. I had knotted the rope against the bumper of the truck and was pulled hard as I could to get my anger and frustration out. Well, it was either that or sex or destroying things. So why not start with the easy one.

Matt "Hey, Florence, i thought you had a couple days off?"

I nodded "i do, i just came to grab some of my stuff but decided to stay since Squad and Ambo are out on a case"

He nodded "you okay, Florence?"

I snapped "do I look okay?"

Matt froze "This question feels like a trap, so I'm not gonna answer that"

I rolled my eyes annoyed.

Matt sighed, walked over to the knot on the bumper, opened it and grabbed ahold of the other end of the rope.

I looked at him confused.

Matt gestured for me to go on "talk to me"

I pulled against Casey "I am a failure, Matt "

Matt shook his head "you're not"

Me "and my mother knew that, that's why she abandoned me when I was a kid"

Matt shook his head "that's not true, Flo, and you know that. "

Me "and you cheated on me because you knew that too."

Matt shook his head "no, Flo, I never thought about you that way. You know that"

Me "then why did you decide to cheat, Matt? What? because it definitely wasn't because of our sexlife, because that was great"

Matt nodded "I know. "

Me "then why did you decide to cheat? Was it because of me?"

He shook his head "no, Flo, it wasn't because of you"

Me "then what else was it?"

He sighed "Flo, do you really want to do this? It's been so long"

I nodded.

Matt shrugged "we were growing apart. We tried not to but in the end we failed"

I nodded, agreeing "we did"

Matt shook his head "you're not a failure, Florence"

I nodded "I am, Matt. I ruin everything I touch. "

Then I pulled harder.

Matt froze "Flo, you're not wearing gloves"

I pulled even harder.

Matt pulled on the robe so I was pulled against him.

Then he grabbed my hands and looked at them. They were scratched from the robe and sore.

He sighed "Florence, why would you do that?"

I cracked out "I thought we could make it work. I was ready to fight for it. And I thought he was too. But I was wrong. He's the love of my life. And I was stupid enough to think I was his"

His face fell and he hugged me. 

At the fundraiser event. night. 

I walked inside and looked around. 

Brett walked over to me, smiling "you came"

I nodded "yeah but i do not want to be here"

Brett sighed "you can't hide forever from him"

I shook my head "i am not hiding from him, i just don't wanna look at him or talk to him. I can't"

Brett "what about Stella?"

I sighed "she's lucky that i only kicked her out. Rumor says she's moved in with Severide"

Brett nodded "yes, that's true"

I rolled my eyes annoyed "wow"

Brett "if you don't wanna be here, Florence, we could always go"

I shook my head "no, i am fine. "

She eyed me "really?"

I nodded "yes, i am. i 'm the same person as always but the second i see Kidd and Severide i suddenly get the urge to eat glass"

Brett grimaced.

Me "they're standing behind me, aren't they?"

She nodded "yes"

I turned around and looked at them.

Brett eyed me "and?"

I took a deep breath "i need a drink"

We walked over to the table were Otis, Mouch, Hermann and Cruz were. 

They all smiled and cheered when they saw me. 

Hermann "the long lost kid is back"

I smiled "hey guys"

Cruz "when are you gonna come back ? Severide's a  little off"

Otis shot Cruz a look. 

I nodded "tomorrow. The Chief wants to talk with me. "

Cruz asked worried "everything okay?"

I nodded "yes. i just - it's just all shitty at the moment. "

Hermann "you know we're there for you , right?"

I nodded "i know"

Kelly walked to the table. 

I took a sip from my drink and rolled my eyes when he did a double take when he looked at me. 

Kelly nodded "Florence, you look good"

I nodded "thank you"

Everyone looked between us.

it was awkward.