My life's meaning |✔️

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"I love you too" he sighs side eyeing me, putting Squirt on the bed he tried to give me a hug but I pushed him away. "what now? You've been doing that for a month now"

"You always squeeze too hard, side hugs only buddy until you learn how to give regular hugs"

"You weren't complaining when I was holding you up against the shower wall—"

"Okay! Shut it the kids are in here"

Laughing he changed shoes then took Delilah out the room saying they'll be back, Squirt inches closer and closer to the edge of the bed babbling.

Ever since he learned how to crawl he's been trying to crawl off the bed and couches.

Catching him just in time I grumble to myself carrying him downstairs while he laughs pulling my hair.

It's grown back completely, I tried to cut it again but Elijah hid all the scissors saying it was for my own good.

"Dada" Squirt smiles looking me dead in my face

"Mama! It's Mama you mean baby!"

"Dada! Dada! Dada!" he screams wiggling in my arms

"Elijah! Wait, you forgot this one!" I shout running to him before he got to far. "take the little shit"

"Stop calling my son that" he chuckles putting his phone in his pocket, holding his arms out for Squirt.

"Dada!" Squirt laughs wholeheartedly

"Okay I get it, you like your daddy now" handing him to Elijah I went back in the house.

"Lauren, you've got another letter" Benjamin smiles softly holding it up, he's been intercepting Matt and I's letters so Elijah doesn't see them.

I felt guilty about what happened to Matt and I couldn't just drop him without knowing if he was alive and doing better. Elijah made me promise I wouldn't see him and I haven't, I'll eventually come clean about it when Matt's put the hospital but fr now it's a secret I'm keeping to myself.

"Thanks Benny, how is he looking?" sitting in the kitchen with him I opened the letter, smiling at the horrible drawing of a flower Matt drew. "why does he keep trying to draw a rose? He knows he's bad at it"

"Because he knows it's your favorite" Benjamin chuckles filling the cooler with bottles of water. "he's doing well, his cousin is giving him a kidney and his mom is getting tested to see if she's a match to give him a piece of her liver"

"That good" nodding I read the letter frowning. "I still don't get it"

"Get what?" Benjamin questions putting on his hat. "are you ready to go?"

"He's not mad at me about what happened, if it was the other way around I don't think I'd be willing to talk to him or even even write him letters" getting up I helped with the cooler and dragged it outside, walking beside Benjamin

"Love makes you do crazy things and overlook a lot of things" he responds. "the day he woke up from his medical induced coma he asked about you, he wanted to know if you were hurting"