Denial and Heartbreak * Part 1 *

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Ok guys im going to try and have a song for every part now and listen to the song before you read each part please, it brings a whole new demension to the story in my opinion . Escpecially part 1 and 2 of this chapter , i love these two part i think there reallly good and i hope you all agree. Dont forget to vote and follow if you like the story and tell me what you think in the comments

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- Vic P.O.V. -

I doubt that kellin would actually be able to deal with me but i can let the kid dream ....

He was looking into my eyes now ,promising me he would never leave , i saw myself in his eyes as he saw himself in mine . I was lost in the daze of misery that had clouded his eyes. It mustve taken years of hiding the pain to get that way . But ..... there was something else .

Hope .

I could see hope in those dead and cold eyes which let me see that he wasnt completely gone yet , there was still a part of him that could be saved , a part that i can save . But .... how can i save him when i cant even save myself . When i get consumed by my own demons . Ive never had a friend that could help me get away from my demons, they all end up scared and running away from me . Like i try to run away from myself but i can never seem to get away from the darkness .

I sighed and looked away form him not being able to take it anymore . I cant look at those eyes , The ones that have haunted my dreams for years , the ones that were right now in front of me , i couldnt handle it . Kellin gently placed a finger under my chin as he moved my face to face him again  I felt myself let another tear slip . I felt extremly strong feelings comsume me.

I wanted to be closer to him , i wanted to just wrap my arms around him and hold him . I wanted to protect him . NO . i didnt feel this way i was only confused since someone actually cared about me for once in my life or at least said he did . I steped closer to him and he didnt object to the air between us getting closed . He didnt object to me moving his hair out of his face . He seemed to accept the air closing in between  us .

I moved my face closer and i could feel his warm breath on my lips and it sent shivers through me . Ive never felt this way around anyone ever before .I felt like my head was clouded with his scent , like everything disappeard and we were falling through the darkness of eternity with only each other to hold on to .

" Kellin .... " I whispered onto his lips with myvoice barley above a whisper . The sound barrier barley broken . Only the sound of our breaths combining was heard .  I moved my lips closer to his , mine barley brushing over his and i pulled away .

" I cant do this ...... " I whispered after moving away from him . The space coming back between us was killing me , i wanted to jump back into his arms . I held my chest because it hurt my to run away like a coward but as i ran away from him with tears streaming down my face i left him standing there just as confused as i was . I ran to my house and immediatly called my friend Lisa to come over. I was about to do something really stupid but i had to get these thought out of my head before they hurt me.

As soon as Lisa came over i pushed her against the wall and kissed her . She kissed back immediatly i knew she liked me thats why i called her over . Butt through the kiss ...... i felt nothing . No sparks , No anything. All i could think about was Kellin . I pulled away from our kiss and looked over at the door to see Kellin standing there with hurt in his eyes . He ran away and i told Lisa to go , she was obviously confused but i had to get her out , i wanted to die just in the meer prescence of her , i wanted to be by kellin.

I called Kellin later that night , thank god i got his number , as soon as he picked up the phone i started to apologize. I wanted to tell him how sorry i was but he cut me off by saying something i wasnt prepared for him to say but i knew he would eventually .

" Vic can you not see that i have extremely strong feelings for you..... since i first saw you i did . "

" I can ...... "

" So you did that to hurt me on purpose ....... "

" I didnt mean to hurt you , im so sorry kellin i just .....im scared .... "

" YOU DONT THINK I AM TO ? "

" im so sorry kellin ...... please give me another chan ...."

He cut me off by hanging up . I felt like my heart had literally been shattered into peices , i felt like i just lost everything that had ever mattered . I have to deny the feeling because they werent realy . It was just my imaginaion . It wasnt real .

Deny it vic .

deny it .

DENY IT .......

Its still there .

I had to go get kellin , i had to show him how sorry i was . Ive never felt anything like this but i never wanted to lose it . i thought to myself as the tears streamed down my face onto the floor staining it even more with the tears ive wept through my pain over the years.

Please kellin forgive me ........ please .

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