My life's meaning |✔️

•|131|•

Shaking my head I grabbed my keys, kissing Amir's cheek I did the same to Delilah before leaving out the door. I could hear her whining when Elijah followed out the door behind me.

"Delilah" he warns "take a nap Love, we'll be back before you know it"

***

We've been in this therapy session for an hour now and the only ones talking are me and the therapist.

"Do you feel safe around your significant other?" the therapist asks gesturing towards Elijah while keeping eye with me

"I used to" I nod "now I feel like I'm walking on egg shells around him"

That caught his attention

"I tend to say whatever comes to mind and I've been holding my tongue a lot because I don't know what could set him off"

Nodding the therapist writes in his notebook for a while before looking at Elijah.

"Knowing this how does it make you feel?"

"Useless" he shrugs looking at his hands, his face looked emotionless but his voice told it all. "she doesn't feel safe around me which means she's leaving me soon"

"No it doesn't" taking his hand in mines I gave it a slight squeeze. "we're here to work on us, I'm not going anywhere"

Nodding he answered all the therapist questions and spoke about what's been weighing heavy on his heart.

It was mostly about me leaving and taking the kids away, not being able to separate the real from day dreams.

By the time our session was over I didn't know what to think, he had spilled almost everything out. I'm thankful for that but it made my decision harder to make.

The drive back home was silent, there wasn't much to say. My words stuck with him the rest of the day, replaying in his head. He'd look over at me from time to time, when I caught his stare he'd look away.

"Papa?" using my finger I turned his chin towards me. "I love you, I'm sorry if what I said makes you think other wise"

"I love you too" inhaling deeply he leaned his seat back covering his eyes with his arm. "can you stop by a gas station? I told Princess I'd get her candy"

"Nope, she doesn't need candy she's already a ball of energy"

"That'll make me a liar"

"Tell her I said no, she'll get over it"

Humming in response he yawned softly, turning up the radio I tapped my fingertips against the wheel.

"Fuck being good, I'm a bad bitch" I rap along with Meg thee stallion. "I'm sick of mother fuckers tryna tell me how to live"

Bumping to Megan the rest of the way home I tapped Elijah when I turned into our neighborhood.

"Aye"

Shaking him I looked over raising an eyebrow, checking his pulse I shrugged turning the engine off. Getting out the car I went over to his side and opened the door.

"Elijah!" I yelled reaching over and unbuckling his seatbelt. "Elijah get up, we're home"

Snoring softly he didn't budge, resting a hand on his thigh I stared at him blankly.

"I'm going to leave out here by yourself" I announced hoping he'd get up. "Elijah come on!"

Poking him through his pants I took a step away incase he tried to grab my hand and scare me.