Michael Clifford Imagine Series

22. Always

I almost say no, but I nod my head. At my unspoken response, he swoops in and presses his lips against mine. I relish in the feel, and taste of him. This is our goodbye. In the midst of the kiss, I feel something wet drop on my cheek, and I realize he's crying. I go to pull back, but he pulls me tighter against him and whimpers, but we continue to kiss. His whimpering doesn't stop as our lips slowly part, and he drops his head into my neck, anchoring me to him.

I'm not sure how long we cry in each other's arms, but when we release each other, he pecks my lips and says, "I love you."

I nod, "I love you too."

Then I'm grabbing my bags and leaving out the door.

Present

We haven't talked since, and I guess I kind of expected it. There wasn't any hard feelings or anything, so we don't hate each other. Either way, talking to him would have hurt too much, so its best that we just didn't see each other anymore. Sometimes when I think about him I feel heartbroken, because I really did love him. I'm pretty sure I still do.

I miss the little things; waking up to his arms around me, him nuzzling his stubbly face in my neck, kissing, and I almost want it back, but its been a year.

Since the break up people are always asking if I'm ok, and I am, because I don't cry myself to sleep anymore. I don't miss the constant fighting, because it took a lot out of us, and we were only ever civil while he was on tour. It was like we only liked each other when we weren't together. I wanted to be happy when we would spend time together, but we would always end up fighting.

After the break up, I decided I would take a break from dating, so I occupied myself by working a lot or spending time with family or friends. At first, I kept tabs on Michael, because I wanted him to be ok and he was more than ok.

About four months after we split, he had a few very brief girlfriends, and it didn't get to me as long as he was happy.

I didn't really bother with the media after that, I spent a lot of time actually interacting with people, reading, and just living. I enjoyed being occupied with something, because I felt accomplished. I learned how to cook, and started baking more and always listening to music. I enjoyed listening to music while doing other things.