Rain Falling

The Loved One

"He's gone" She was sobbing with each word she was trying to say.

"Matt is gone."

Instantly falling on my knees and hugging my mom tight fighting to keep tears from running down.

I was speechless i would have rather had 1000 needles shoot me in the back but all i could feel was burning pain in my nose as i fought back these tears

"HOW?" I shouted but i couldn't keep the tears in they started pouring out. At the same time Maddie was listening by the door and she ran to us crying.

"C-Car crash," mother said while sobbing.

Anger, Fear, Sadness, mixed with other emotions was how i was feeling. My feet were very sore but i ran as fast as i could to my room and collapsed to the floor.

My stepdad was trying his hardest to comfort my mother but seeing my mother and my little sister in this pain made it harder.

No matter our differences he was my older brother. My protecter.

Why the fuck did no one stop him from driving. It was raining, dark, and he was drunk. I screamed letting out all my frustration and I could hear the foot steps of Maddie as she quickly ran in my room and jumped into my arms.

"I want Matt, " Maddie's tears fell onto my shirt and i hugged her tightly not letting go, not wanting to lose anyone else i care about.

I heard my mom tell my stepdad to go into the room and she quickly ran into my room.

She looked down at me and held her hands over her eyes shielding us from seeing her breakdown. I grabbed her arm and pulled her into our arms and we all sobbed together.

"W-Weren't y-you with him," my mother looked at me with puffy eyes.

I could tell my mother was blaming herself for telling us to go to the party, i knew it wasn't her fault. She just wants us to feel like normal teenagers.

I looked up wiping my tears to see Madalayn doing the same thing.

"He was drunk.. I thought he was going to stay the night." i sobbed while speaking my next words "I- I didn't think they would let him drive."

"Mom, I'm s- so sorry, I should have stayed." i sobbed loudly.

She gripped my hand and Maddie's

"Sweetheart it isn't your fault." She had worry in her eyes and i could hear Maddie sob.

"Baby Please don't blame yourself." My mom sobbed aloud

I was stupid, I was the only one who could have stopped him, now i wish i had been dreaming, I want to restart today, he didn't get to live his life, he should have been stopped.

mascara ran down my face and all i could do was blame myself.

10 minutes pass and Mom, John, and Maddie were all in the room. Without saying anything i walked out and walked into Matt's room.

They followed me in the room and i fell on his bed and i couldn't make out words, all i could do and that felt right was the express how i feel.

Pain is demanded to be felt, I never let myself feel pain, My parents divorce and the loss of my brother all hit me at once.

It didn't feel real to me, i still feel like he is going to come home and all of this is going to be a dream, please be a dream.

I'd forgotten about everything that happened with Liam, i was with a boy, when i should have been with my brother. I take the jacket off and throw it at the wall and i could see the pain my family felt while watching me be this person i've never been before.