TORN

Chapter 5

Hannah

What have I done? What have I done?!

Horrified with my actions, I pulled away quickly and pushed him off me, nearly losing my footing. Pain shot through his eyes at the rejection and he tried to grab me again but I shoved him away from me.

'Hannah wait!' He called after me.

I ran down the hall half naked into the downstairs toilet as his come seeped out of me, down my legs reminding me of how stupid I had been. I would definitely need the morning after pill. I sat on the toilet and sobbed into my hands. He started hammering on the door.

'Babe please I'm sorry! I'm so sorry for everything you've got to believe me!' He yelled on the other side of the door, still banging, determined for me to open it.

I tried to tune him out. I felt disgusted that I had let my emotions and hormones take over me. I couldn't control myself around him, he still affected me so deeply. I had missed him so much; I tried to grasp my logical thoughts and restrain the love I still had for him.

'Go away Liam just fuck off!' I shouted. He didn't stop.

'I'm sorry for every single thing I've done to you! I'm sorry for cheating on you! It was the worst mistake I've ever made and I am sorry if I have pushed you just now, I understand if you weren't ready for that but I have missed you so much! I've missed everything about you! I swear! I can't live without you!' His words broke me.

I cried even harder then. He was saying everything I had longed for him to say, but it was too late now.

I was exhausted. I just wanted to crawl into bed and not get out. I couldn't believe what had happened today I really couldn't. Mollie was going to be so disappointed with me. I couldn't think straight, I was locked in the toilet with him relentlessly banging on the door.

I wiped myself off, pulled my bra back up and threw the ripped up tights in the bin. I opened the door and walked past him with a straight face, ignoring him, and made my way into the kitchen.

My hands shakily pulled a half empty bottle of wine out of the fridge and I poured myself a large glass and downed it. My body tingled as the alcohol went through my system. I felt numb and extremely fatigued. I was aware Liam had followed me as I could feel his heat from behind me, leaving little gap between us, wary of my next move. I needed to put space between us, his presence clouded my perspective.

'You've got the house lovely. I knew you would'. He remarked calmly. The house that should have been ours. I let out a dry laugh at his attempt at casual conversation.

'Why are you still here? Can you please just go. This was a mistake'. I dug my nails into my palms, willing myself not to cry. He span me around then and held my shoulders in place. His face was full of anger.

'Don't every say that to me again, us being together is never a mistake. Ever!' His temper was rising and his words pierced me and I flinched.

I stared down at his chest, red marks all over it from where I had scratched him, his neck was littered with love bites too, oh god. His quivering lip returned, upset with my distant reaction to him.

I crossed my arms over my chest and remained hostile. I tried to make my expression as disgusted and angry as possible but I couldn't. He was breaking my heart standing in front of me so vulnerable. It was hurting me. Why did I always end up hurt when it came to him?

I looked up at him, his face was still as handsome as ever. He was rough looking but with striking features, little knife like indent scars marking his face from a violent dealing that had happened years earlier. His hair was thick but kept short, especially shorter on the sides. He really could have been a model.