𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄. kenma kozume x reader

part 25; drowning

your POV:

I sink onto my bedroom floor and feel the fatigue of all the stress from pent-up emotions finally take a toll on me. 

That was it.  

We're done.

It still seems surreal; a year and a few months of us have finally ended. It's not like I thought we would last forever or anything- that's impossible, but I can't believe it's all over just like that. Our time spent together rushes through my brain in a blur, and I reach out- almost trying to hold onto some memories. 

How I ever got that boy to even talk to me is still a mystery, but I'm so glad that he did. Being with Kenma, having him open up to me and care about me was easily one of my best experiences in this hellhole they call 'school'. 

kuroo: kenma told me

kuroo: u holding up okay?

I don't want to respond, but I know he'll be careful not to stomp all over the situation.

y/n: yes

kuroo: thats a lie

y/n: no its not

kuroo: yes it is

kuroo: im picturing this: 

kuroo: ur sitting on the floor at the foot of ur 

bed, ur crying and thinking about the past.

y/n: did u put cameras in my room or something

kuroo: i knew it

kuroo: i am a genius

y/n: think what you want buddy

kuroo: anyways

kuroo: fr

kuroo: doing ok?

y/n: no

kuroo: aww 

y/n: its ok

y/n: its for the best

kuroo: still

kuroo: not even talking is pretty big

y/n:  yeah

y/n: but 

y/n: even if we do stay friends

y/n: whats the point

kuroo: wdym

y/n: i mean like

y/n: he was a great friend, yea

y/n: but its like i remember him as sm more

y/n: itd be weird

kuroo: ohh gotchu

y/n: sorry for ranting

kuroo: if you apologize again

kuroo: im gonna whoop ur ass

y/n: im confused

y/n: why

kuroo: bc you have the right to rant

kuroo: DUH

y/n: what about kozume?

y/n: shouldnt you be talking to him too

kuroo: already moved on from first name basis?

y/n: guess so

kuroo: kenma said he wanted to think first

kuroo: and said that i should check to see how ur doing first

kuroo: and make sure ur okay

y/n: he said that?

kuroo: yeah

I feel myself blushing a little. Even after this, Kenma still wanted to make sure I was okay. I don't think I could ever wholeheartedly hate him. 

y/n: i think im good now

y/n: go talk to him

kuroo: he said not to bother him

y/n: you of all people should know that

he doesnt mean that

y/n: spam him until he replies

kuroo: ur a good girlfriend

y/n: *ex

y/n: you mean ex girlfriend

kuroo: whatever

kuroo: its good he got to know you before i left

I try to ignore the empty, stabbing feeling in my chest as I start to attempt to clean my room. I play some music and bustle around, picking up clothes and straightening out my sheets until I notice my mom standing in the doorframe. 

"You're cleaning," she says in obvious disbelief.

"I am," it comes out a lot harsher than I intended it to sound. 

"That's a rare sight," she either hasn't picked up my tone or doesn't really care. 

"Mhm," I grunt, hoping she'd go away. 

"Is something wrong?" 

"Nope," 

"You can tell me, you know?" she sits on my bed with such a genuine and soft smile that it makes me feel guilty about being so rude towards her.

"Kenma," I whisper, and my mom's face softens and she looks at me with sympathy.  She strokes my hair and I lean into her, breathing in the scent of fresh laundry. I don't feel like crying anymore, but I stay that way, huddled close to my mom. She doesn't say anything, but patiently stays that way, humming into my hair. 

When she finally leaves, I still feel like shit, but at least now I'm not sobbing over a guy. Pathetic, but definitely worth crying over. I genuinely loved that boy and everything he was made of. 

y/n: im ok now

y/n: fr

kuroo: if you ever break down in the middle of the night

kuroo: call me ill leave my phone on

y/n: thanks kuroo

y/n: ur the best