His First July

Chapter Twenty Seven

All I want is nothing more, to hear you knocking at my door... Cause if I could see your face once more, I could die a happy man I'm sure.
Kodaline
(All I want)
                          __His First July

Chapter Twenty Seven

COLBY

Love. 

What exactly can I say about love? It is that particular feeling that tends to confuse you. So many attempts about what it is, how to describe it, the feeling of being in love, but none of them has ever gotten to the true depth of that word. None of them has ever touched the real meaning. And the reason why could most likely be traced down to the fact that you don't know love, until you eventually get love. 

Yes, I once thought falling in love was silly, I thought it was a fairy tale that has successfully planted its seeds in every human and animal brain alike. I never thought the feeling was real, until I met it. 

Love touched me and I realized it would forever remain that concept that can't fully be explainable. 

Love takes over your soul, it gives you the script of your life, with your heart casted to play the lead role in whatever you do. It lets your heart lead you to wherever it wants. Love plays tricks, gives you a mild heart attack when you see your special someone, and breaks you when you lose that special someone. 

On one hand, love is evil, it's bad, it hurts... And on the other, love is beautiful, the best feeling you can ever get, it's refreshing. Love is basically everything, yet you fail to realize that in the end, it never really existed. It’s a noun but with no form.

When you're in love you feel like you're floating, but when something happens to break that feeling, you feel like you're drowning. 

Love is bittersweet. 

I'd never have come to this conclusion if I hadn't met Daniella. Seeing her for the first time, it felt strange, and yes, I did try to figure out why she got my attention. Why I paid every attention to every little detail on her face, why I craved her presence. 

At first, I knew it was a crush, a really silly crush, but then the feelings got even stronger, so strong that I'd look forward to seeing her everyday. 

There was just something about her presence that made me feel like I had everything I ever wanted, and something about her absence that felt like everything was just out of reach. 

I need to see her, I need to tell her how I feel, I need her to know how sorry I am for the stupid mistake I made. To tell her the real reason why I called her to the park that night. 

I'm done being scared of her reaction, cause now I know love is about taking risks to get to that point you crave. 

She deserves an explanation, and I'm going to try my best to fix this... To fix us. I'll do everything I can because I love her, and being with her gave me everything I never had, her voice, her smile, the sound of her laughter, the way her eyes sparkled whenever she smiled, the way her whole face lights up whenever she gets excited, the way she snapped her fingers whenever an idea hits her, the way she walked, the way she paid more attention to her hair than any other part of her body, her warmth, her warm soft palm on mine...  Everything about Daniella Varis, made me feel more alive than I'd ever been all my life.