Chapter 1

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I know its not my fault but when somebody repeatedly tells you it is, you kind of believe them. Thats what its like with me and Jesse, we have been together for almost two years now and for the last few months it hasn't been all that good. He had started drinking and coming home late and whenever i would say anything about it he would get angry. He never used to do anything at first, but as weeks past and he drank more he would get even angrier and eventually he would hit me. Every time it happened he would tell me that i made him do it, i made him angry so i got what was coming. I didn't want to be in this relationship but he scared me, i was scared that if i left he would find me and i knew that wouldn't be good. Many of my friends have given up on me as well, they all tell me to go to the police and report him but i haven't got enough courage to do it, i have come close countless of times, walked to the police station and asked to speak to an officer but as soon as i would start walking into the questioning room i would back out and go home.

I once had lots of friends, before Jesse, but when i started a relationship with him all my friends left to start there own relationships, all except one. Lissa. I knew no matter how bad things got Liss would be there for me, she was more like a sister than a best friend. Even though she is engaged to Christian and I'm with Jesse we still find time for each other, in fact i see her almost every day which i am thankful for, i don't no what i would do without her, shes the last bit of sanity i have, without her i don't think i would still be here.

Me and Lissa have been friends since kindergarten, we had both been social outcasts and had no friends so we had to work together while practicing how to write out names. The teacher had told us that we had to write out full names, Rosemarie and Vasilisa, which Lissa agreed to but i wasn't that easy, i threw my textbook at the teacher and called her a fascist bastard, at the time i had no idea what those words meant but i had heard them off another pupil and decided to use it!

Me and Jesse had met later in life when i was 17, we had both been finishing school and had to do an end of year assignment together, we kind of clicked and started a relationship, it wasn't until we had been dating 1 and a half years that he started getting violent. I didnt blame him entirely, i blamed the friends he was gaining at college, they were encouraging him to do things like smoke and drink, sometimes he wouldn't return home until early in the morning. Those are the times that i am scared, if he's late home it usually means he's drunk, which also means he gets angry easy, which is never good for me.

Thats what happened last night, he got in late and i made a stupid comment about it which i regret now. He had gotten so angry that he had pushed me, causing me to fall, and as my luck has it we had been at the top of the stairs so i had fallen down then. As soon as i hit the wooden floor at the bottom i knew i needed medical attention, my head hurt and both my shoulders and lower back were numb. As soon as it happened i could see the regret in Jesses eyes, he flew down the stairs landing by my side and leaned down so he could whisper in my ear "i will call an ambulance as long as you tell them it was an accident?" He said it like he was giving me the choice but i knew better, if i went against him i would only get hurt more. So i decided to agree to what Jesse said and let him call an ambulance for me.

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