Karma x Reader || Appearances

AKIRO'S LETTER

A/N: Quiz linked at the end

Dear Leo,

 I understand that the last thing you want is to hear from me and I know I messed up but please read this letter.

All this time I had been looking for my father's approval. I've yearned it so desperately for so long, it was like a drug to me. I only received it in small doses though, once or twice a year actually, yet the effect was so powerful, it was so... addicting... I just couldn't force myself to stop. As soon as I heard those words I so desperately wanted to hear, I would forget everything just to prove myself to my father. I would be so caught up on my task that I would forget about the people surrounding me and the consequences my actions brought. Those words were like a trigger to me and I just couldn't open my eyes, I just couldn't see what it was doing to me.

In that year I spent abroad, I had the most fun I had ever had in my life... but I was blind and I didn't realize it on time. I was finally free from my home, free from my family's appearances, free from my father... yet I wasn't free from myself. I was restraining myself because I cared so much about what my father would think. My whole life I believed he was the law. My whole life I believed he was right, that he knew what was best for me and that's how it went for so many years. And, the first time I went against him was that Thursday, that Thursday Evelyn asked me to eat lunch with her and her friends. And you know what? That was the best decision I made in my entire life...

When I saw you underneath that oak tree, I was annoyed that you were there. I wasn't really fond of you the first time we met, and I wasn't looking forward to spending anymore time with you, yet you still managed to befriend me. You didn't care that I was hostile and rude. I don't even know what Wendy saw in me when she asked me out... I guess that's why my date went so bad... But for some reason, you saw something in me that interested you long enough to keep on trying, to not let that smile falter at my rude remarks...

I've realized my mistakes. I know I shouldn't have listened to my father. I don't even know anymore who I'm doing all this for. Why am I studying medicine? Why am I working to be a doctor? Because I want to? Or because my father wants me to? You were right, I don't know anymore, that's why I'm planning to enroll back in university but this time, I will be studying architecture. I will be doing this for myself and I should have listened to you sooner. It's a decision that has been on my mind for quite some time now and you're the first person to hear this, I haven't even told my family yet...

Remember that day under the oak tree? When you told me I would eventually miss my family? Well, I've been thinking. I've been thinking about that day, and about the day at the hospital when you told me your fear of losing your sister. I had never seen someone care so much about another person without any ulterior motives. In my family, it has always been everyone for themselves and that's how I lived my whole life. But I don't want that anymore. My relationship with my sister has been improving, we now tolerate each other though it's all thanks to her. She's the one who's been working hard to befriend me, just like you. Then, one day we played the piano together, that song you asked me to play back at the music festival. It's then I realized it, it's me, I'm the problem, I'm the one who has been stopping myself, I'm the one who pushes people away. And I thought to myself, what will Leo do? But it didn't take me anywhere because I first needed to know what Akiro wanted to do.

It was then that realization struck me, I didn't know myself. I had been so focused trying to prove myself to my father that I had gotten lost in the process. After that day I had sleepless nights as I tried to understand my motivations. And once I did, I finally knew what to do. I had to be the one to take the next step, or my relationship with my sister would never improve. I don't even know if I'll be able to do it, I don't even know if I'll have the courage to approach (Y/N) but I know I'll have to someday, I just don't know when... You were right, I did feel homesick, I did miss my sister.

This brings me back to the last day we saw each other. I remember you trying to latch onto the possibility of a friendship with me but at that moment, I couldn't care less, I was blind because I wanted my father's approval so I didn't think things through. All those things you said... that I did care about you because I faked liking football, that I did care about you because I went running to the hospital as soon as you called, that I did care about you because I stood up for you when that bully insulted you... You know what? I did care, I did go running to the hospital, I did stand up for you... because you were right, you've always been.

You can burn the letter or throw it in the trash can if that's what you want. If you decide to shut me out and not respond, I will accept it. I had my opportunity and I blew it. I trust you that you won't use this letter as proof to sue my father. I know it contains rather unpleasant facts about him but for the moment, I don't want to get in trouble. I don't know if it's because I'm just scared or if it's because I want to get my closure when the time is right but I hope you'll understand.

I'm writing you all this at 4am and I won't check it because I know I will regret it in the morning. Writing things, especially at night when I'm tired, makes it easier for me to open up so I'm pretty sure I said everything I wanted to say.

And now, I will leave you alone if that's what you want and I will respect your decision but I just felt the need to get it off my chest, to apologize to you.

I'm sorry for taking so long to realize,

Akiro

A/N: Call me a baby but I nearly cried writing this! I just want the best for Akiro and the reader but there's still a lot they have to go through before I get to the point I want.

I really liked this chapter because it shows his development. Just like the reader said, he's not the same Akiro, he's changed and his arguments with the reader (when she finally confronts him) and this letter are key factors in his character development. This is the letter Akiro sent in chapter 26 and it will help you understand why he had such a heartfelt conversation with her sister that night in the car (the one from chapter 27).

I'm sorry if it bores you that the latest chapters have been focusing more in the reader's relationship with her brother (instead of focusing on Karma) but it's important that she gets the closure she needs. Yes, it is a love story and yes she loves Karma dearly but I feel like there has to be more to that. There has to be an explanation to why her family situation is so messed up and there has to be an explanation to why her brother is so different from what she described him as in the first few chapters.

So anyways, I hope you understand and let me know your thoughts about Akiro and his developing relationship with the reader in the comments! 

Quiz link:

https://www.quotev.com/quiz/12825037/Who-are-you-most-like-from-my-OCs

Oh and if for some reason the link doesn't work then let me know