Angel In The Outfield (Camila/GxG)

Talking Bodies

A/N: Just wanted to warn you guys that this chapter is a little bit longer than the others, and it's also gonna be wild 😬

Katy's POV:

"Holy shit, you had that many things happen just between yesterday and today?" Louis says. We're laying down on the little bridge in 'our spot' in the woods. He's laying one way and I'm laying the other. Our heads are rested beside each other. Laying on a wooden bridge above a creek might sound uncomfortable, but I'm actually very relaxed right now. I think it has to do with Louis' presence though. I could not wait to see him today after everything that's happened the past two days.

"Yep. Yesterday and today feel like there should've been at least a month in between." "They really do. Regardless of the amount of time though, I'm proud of you for handling everything the way you have so far." Louis says petting my head and making me laugh. "Thanks, Lou. I still have no idea what I'm doing though. I just feel really numb. I'm trying to goof off and have a fun time in hopes that I'll start to feel something again. I'm sure to the unknowing eye that I look like I don't give a shit about everything that's happened. Yesterday I was in zombie pilot mode all day. Today I felt a lot more lively. I talked to everybody like nothing happened, even Camila up until Miss Martin gave our exams back to us."

"You shouldn't care about how other people see you right now. Everyone has their own way of moving on after a breakup. Yours is just wanting to go back to the happy, skippy Katy you were before. I don't see anything wrong with that and other people shouldn't either. But if they do, they can fuck off because they clearly have no idea what they're talking about. They might be fooled by the outer act you're using, but if they take time to look in your eyes, they'll see the pain and realize you're just as heartbroken as Camila." Louis says. I'm glad he understands where I'm coming from. Lauren Cooper, Shawn, Ariana, and this new group seem to be the only ones that understand me at this point.

"What's been the hardest thing for you since you and Eleanor broke up?" I ask Louis. "For the first few days, the hardest thing was seeing her because she would always be with the guy she cheated on me with. He would kiss her at her locker before every period. That hurt to watch because that used to be my job. One day she saw me looking at them so now they don't meet at her locker in the mornings. They meet somewhere else. I actually haven't seen her for the past week. We both started taking different ways to get to class and lunch. Now, the hardest thing would be having a phone. She has really bad anxiety, and sometimes it causes her to have panic attacks late at night. She would always call me whenever that happened because hearing my voice helped calm her down. Now, I'll be completely passed out at night and still hear my phone go off. I'll turn over to check it, and there will be nothing there. My mind just plays really fucked up tricks on me. What's been the hardest thing for you so far?" Louis says.

"Seeing her cry and not being able to hold her; seeing her pout and not being able to kiss it away; not being able to walk her to class; not being able to tell her good morning and goodnight; not being able to hold her hand. Basically just seeing her in general and not being able to do anything. It feels like I lost part of my soul. You ever wonder how you can be on cloud nine with someone one day and then they're gone the very next?" "All the fucking time. Another thing I wonder is how time seems to be nonexistent whenever you're with that person, and then that's all you have left after they leave. You're left with nothing but never ending time and thoughts." Louis states. We both turn our heads to look at each other now.

"Do you believe in marriage?" He asks. "I did for a little bit. I didn't believe in dating or getting married until I met Camila. Now I don't believe in either one once again. Do you?" "It's the same for me, except part of me still has a little hope that we'll find the right people one day. They may even be closer than we think." I'm unable to say anything now because of the way he's looking in my eyes. Louis is super cute, he's sweet, he's funny, he has an amazing singing voice, but most of all, he makes me feel safe. But nothing can happen. I just got out of a relationship two days ago, and I'm still madly in love with Camila.