Path Of Shadows

Chapter 7

I climb into the shower and sit in the bottom of the tub, the water from the shower head is running down on me like a waterfall. It's hot and soothing but still I feel a hard sharp lump in my throat. My thoughts come to rear their ugly head once again, I want to scream and cry but I don't. I shake my head and pull myself together. No, I'm not gonna do this. I think to myself but I know I'm not okay.

I feel like I lost them before I even had them. Why does it hurt so bad, it's not like we were together, we just were friends, I hardly know them, so why does it hurt this fucking bad. How can I be this fucking attached to them when I barely know them? How could they act like I'm the enemy or I'm lying when I've been nothing but honest with them. I mean sure, I did keep things hidden but they were personal and I was going to tell them before Jàime beat me to it. I feel betrayed by everyone right now but somehow heartbroken too. I just need to be alone and sort it out. I get out of the shower and wrap a towel around me then decide to text Jàime.

Me- Hey.. just wanted to let you know that I'm back at the house. Everything is fixed up and the security system is installed.

Jàime- I know.

Me- Ok. Cool.

She doesn't text back after that. It was a bad fight her and I had, and I don't know where we stand anymore.

I toss my phone onto my bed and grab some clothes out of my dresser which are frilly black lace booty cutter underwear and a baggy old hole filled low cut Nirvana t-shirt then head to the kitchen to get some tea. I figure maybe that might help me to feel better. I get to thinking and feeling down so I think maybe I might need something stronger and head to the liquor cabinet. I know I shouldn't but I go for it anyways.

I grab some bourbon, turn on some music, grab a glass, pour in the whiskey and mix in some cola. I sit here sipping at first, I get halfway through the glass and can barely taste the alcohol so I pour in some more bourbon and finish the glass. I make each glass after stronger and stronger. I'm about three drinks in and feeling alright. Dancing around the house and singing at the top of my lungs like a fool. Forgetting everything that happened the last few days and I didn't want to even think about it. I didn't know what would become of my and the twins friendship. I didn't know what would become of my and Jàime's friendship. But what I did know was I had to pee.. bad.

I stumble to the stairs and start walking up them when suddenly I realize just how impaired I really am. I completely forget the fact that there is a bathroom down stairs I could have used but I'm almost to the top of the stairs. I start tipping backwards so I throw myself forward on to my hands and knees, smashing my knees on the steps, and I dog crawl on all fours up the stairs, I get to the top then find my footing and stumble forward to my bathroom. I flip the light on then pull my underwear down as I walk to the toilet. I sit down hard on the toilet and as I'm relieving my over full bladder I hear my phone that I previously tossed on my bed go off.

"Oh great, now Jàime is gonna tell me she's gonna move out and never speak to me again." I say out loud, as if anyone is here for me to talk to.

I wipe then pull up my underwear, wash and dry my hands quickly so I can see what she said.

2 new messages:

Unknown- Hey, Beautiful.

Unknown- What are you up to?

I read both texts but I don't reply. I bring my phone downstairs with me. I'm still upset and trying not to think about anything right now. How dare they even text me.
I set my phone on the counter, pour myself another drink and crank up the music. At this point it's about a hour later and I'm now six drinks in and I can't feel my face anymore. Deliberately ignoring my phone that's gone off three more times, I pour myself another drink.