In His Shadow [On Hold]

24: Back to the Gym we go

Here is a picture of AnnaMae as a reminder

+++++++++

Levi's POV

You aren't good enough to be quarterback. You aren't good enough for her. You aren't good enough to be alive. Why did you live? Why? You should have died. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU.

His screaming sends a jolt through my body, waking me up, gasping for air. It's been awhile since I last had a nightmare about Jack and I know it's my growing feelings for Bailey that has my guilty conscience tossing and turning at night.

I let out a deep sigh, trying to regulate my breathing when I notice the time projected on the ceiling reads 5:00 a.m.. There's no point in falling back asleep when I would be getting up in an hour anyway. Instead I climb out of bed and decide to clear my head by going for a run.

++++++++

Jogging while the town sleeps is oddly satisfying for me. Everything is hushed. No birds chirp. Cars don't drive by. I can run in the middle of the road without having to move to the side every couple of minutes. It's just me and the sun slowly waking up together. I jog down the block toward the gas station listening to my feet make contact with the pavement and the farther I distance myself from the comfort of my home, the clearer my head becomes.

Bailey wants me to go after my dream of being quarterback and finish my last year of high school doing what I love, but no matter how hard I try to mentally prepare myself for what should feel natural, I can't shake Jack out of my head.

I proved that yesterday to the entire team and school that I'm not ready. My leadership skills were weak. My body froze when I needed to make a split-second decisions and I had the wind knocked out of me. The team probably thinks I'm a failure, and it's true, I'm no Jack Daniels.

I continue to jog down the only hill we have in town and turn towards Main Street. The stores are all closed but the American Flag continues to sway in the town plaza, greeting me with a morning wave and as I make my way passed it, I nod out of respect for what it represents.

One day I hope to bring my kids here and watch the flag wave in harmony with the morning breeze as the sun rises, letting our town know a new day is upon us; just as my father did with me when I was a kid. When I look around at all the beautifully aged buildings that our great, great grandparents built for us to achieve our dreams, I am reminded that this town is my home, and always will be and if I want to chase my dreams, I need to learn how to get Jack out of my head, if only it was that easy.

I stop in front of the Sears to catch my breath and check my heart rate.

"Morning Levi. You're up early. Working hard for the football team?" Hunter Haywood's dad waves at me from the Sears Auto Service Center and I return the gesture. I can't remember the last time I saw Jerry, or anyone from Hunter's family.

"Yeah, trying to work on my body for hell-week. How are you Mr. Haywood?" I pant, wiping the sweat off my brow.

"Ah, I remember training for hell-week. Those were the days and you know better; call me Jerry. Well, to be honest, it's no fun slowly losing your job." He points his wrench up at the sign and I remember overhearing that when the store closes the auto shop will go too.

"I'm sure you'll be fine. Everyone needs a mechanic! Have you thought about working at Mr. O'Malley's shop?" I ask. Jerry's once cheery morning smile quickly shifts into a more grim- sinister look. His eyes darken and I swear I heard a flash of lightning somewhere in the distance. He's always shown me kindness but within a split second he changed into a completely different person. Now I know where Hunter gets it from.