For Him...??

For Him...?? (Chapter - 10)

Please don't be so sweet Saanvi, It pulls me more towards you.......

"Hey, don't blame yourself, we both are at equal fault and we'll find the solution together," I said very affectionately...... I don't know why I did that....... She didn't say anything, I think she is shocked to hear my tone... Sh*t Vihaan..... Why can't you control your stupid mouth... she already knows I like her, what would she think ?? huh...
"I.... I'll try to talk to mom about this and maybe she can help us," I said mentally slapping myself for stuttering......

"Okay..... bye," she said politely.....

"bye," I said and she hung up......

For some reason, I didn't want the call to end..... In these few days, I got used to hearing her voice...... It's just attraction and I'll be past it once all this is over...... I assured myself but I know that isn't the case, I had never gotten this feeling with any girl in my 31 years of life, physical attraction, yes but the soul connection I feel with Saanvika is very different and unique, I had dated a few girls but nothing is serious except for my first girlfriend which I misinterpreted to be love...... I shook my head to remove all these baseless thoughts....... 

My assistant called me as there is an emergency and I rushed out of my cabin, checked the patient, and instructed to shift the patient to the operation theater as his condition is critical and needed the blood flow to be restored asap......

Saanvika's POV

I quickly hung up noticing the change in his tone..... It made me blush, why ?? I don't want to know the reason because that would definitely pull me back from what I'm gonna do...... Vihaan is the only man who makes me feel strange..... of course in a good way...... Maybe he is the right one for me, Anyways my family would never leave me till I get married then why not Vihaan ?? No..... He doesn't want it and also I'm not good enough for him... He deserves the best...... But..... Ah... Why am I Wishy Washy ?? I stormed out of my cabin frustrated with my own self......

On my way, I called 'ma' and talked to her for a while, But when she tried to talk about my marriage, as soon as that topic came up, I hung up saying I am busy..... I know it's a lame excuse but I couldn't lie to her face neither could I raise her hopes..... Being silent is the best option I have for now, after reaching my flat, I freshened up and messaged Siri di as I needed to let my frustrations out..... Thankfully she is awake though it was midnight there, I called her and vent out all my anger and problems to her, and she listened to me calmly, I even told her how I feel about Vihaan, not completely but enough to let her know that I like him after I am done, She asked me to leave everything to fate and accept whatever it offers like I always do, but I just can't stop thinking about it, this marriage thing scares me and I wanted to do anything and everything to do stop this and at the same time life without Vihaan is also difficult to imagine...... I am thankful to Siri di for listening to my madness but still, I feel heavy as there are some things I couldn't even admit to myself...... I hung up after talking for some more time with her..... I had my supper and tried sleeping as it's my hideout from all my pain and worries but today even that is staying away from me..... So I took the only remedy that could calm my inner turmoil...... 'Dairy' which papa gave me when I was in 9th standard, whenever I have an overflow of emotions, I write in this diary, I voiced out all my thoughts I wanted to share with papa, I started writing everything and now I feel so light..... I kept my diary away and slept peacefully leaving everything to papa...

The week passed in a blur with the office work and me and Vihaan trying to solve the matter, We tried everything in our hands to break this marriage but nothing worked out...... I have to leave for Nagpur tomorrow as Alok uncle's family is coming to our place to fix the marriage date and discuss other things...... I and Vihaan didn't voice out but we understood now we couldn't do anything...... Our families will make sure we marry each other....... Am I ready ?? Am I ready to welcome a new member in my life, and love and respect him more than papa ?? Am I ready to give importance to Vihaan more than papa ?? Or at least equal to him  ?? I looked at papa's picture in my diary and left all my worries on him and dozed off......