Love Is War {Kuroken} (Discontinued)

Chapter 14

After the meeting with Kuroo, Kenma rushed back to his room. He had made it back before 4, so he wouldn't have to worry about explaining anything to Yaku. However, without Kuroo to distract him from his thoughts, Kenma's mind couldn't help but wander to what he went through before.

He was traumetized.

He didn't want to leave. Kenma just wanted to shut his eyes and never open them again, so there he was. Curled up on his bed in a small and tight ball, tears escaping his eyes once again.

Kenma cried himself to sleep that morning.

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4 days had passed. 4 full days and Kenma hasn't left his room. Several people, mainly Yaku, Lev, and Hinata, were extremely concerned. Not only had Kenma not left his room, he hadn't eaten anything as well. He wouldn't even answer to door to tell them what was wrong. He completely shut everyone off.

"Kenma, it's Hinata. Please come out, we're all worried about you."
"..."
"Please... It's been 4 days and you haven't eaten anything. What happened when you were with Kuroo? Yaku's out right now to find him and ask... so please. Please come out and eat something."

Silence.

No response.

Not even the sound of movement beneath the sheets.

Not even the sound of flipping book pages, or water in a bathroom.

Just pure silence.

After a while of trying to get Kenma out, Hinata left. It didn't surprise Kenma. He was being unresponsive, why would anyone stick around? He felt slightly guilty for not answering them, but he didn't have the will to get out of bed, or even eat for that matter. I'm not that hungry anyways, so why should I eat?

Kenma spent the day sleeping, trying to forget the feeling of unfamiliar hands roaming his body. Trying to forget how helpless he felt, and that he would soon have to deal with an arranged marriage. Instead, he tried to remember the hope he felt when Kuroo saved him.

He actually tried to think of Kuroo in general, it helped him forget his stress. How happy he was when Kuroo was around, how gentle his voice could be, how funny his laugh was, but gradually, Kenma's thoughts decended into something much darker.

How Kuroo's out of his league.

How he's popular with girls.

That he's not good enough.

That he'll never be good enough.

That he should just do what he's told.

This was the cycle of emotions Kenma went through each day.

Over.

And over.

He would go from hopeful to depressed, and the worst part was that he didn't know how to stop it.

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It was later that day when Kenma heard knocking on his door again. He assumed it was just Hinata again, maybe Yaku. However, the voice he heard was neither of the 2, and it wasn't Lev either...

"Kenma, please come out."

Kuroo.

It was Kuroo.

He must've come with Yaku.

Kenma heard the worry in Kuroo's voice, and he could hear Hinata and Yaku talking as well. However, he just filtered it out. Kuroo was here. His comfort blanket was here, he would be safe.

You don't deserve him.

You're just causing issues.

Stop throwing a fuss, just do what they say.

Stop being a burden.

I want to reach out, so why can't I move?

Why won't my hand move?

Please.

Help.

"Help..." Kenma slowly found his feet, he was barely able to stand. His body was weak from not eating for several days. His parents didn't care either, they had no clue what was happening. They only cared if they needed him, right now he was just an inconveinence. Kenma leaned on the furniture in his room as he tried to make it across. His legs collapsed, but he still kept going. He didn't exactly know why he wanted to open the door all of a sudden. Maybe he finally wanted help? Maybe he wanted to stop being a burden? Maybe...Maybe it was the prospect of getting to see kuroo again.

Yeah.

Maybe it's that.

He was almost there.

Almost to the door.

Kenma was crawling on his hands and knees, the others on the other side of the door waiting in anticipation after hearing Kenma's call for help.

It was in reach. He just had to twist the lock. That's all he had to do.

Why am I hesitating?

I want their help.

I want to feel loved.

I need their support.

So why am I hesitating?

What's stopping me?

Is it because I don't deserve it?

Kenma felt these thoughts closing in, he could feel the cycle he hated so much starting again. So in the heat of the moment, he reached his hand out. For a split second, he was able to block out all those thoughts. He was able to feel free, even though it was only for a moment.

The last thing Kenma heard was the click of an unlocked door and the rush of it opening as everything faded to black.

A/N I feel like a lot is unclear but everything will tie in when part 2 comes out-