11 || Small Simon

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It felt like going through a large tube of gelatine. Dani felt like her ears were stuffed and her tongue felt twice its size between her teeth. She felt like she had a cold, like she was drowning, but after the BLOOP of switching from her room to Harry's, the air seemed normal again.

When they fell right on top of something soft, Dani's world spun. If it weren't for her innate fear to keep herself from being a complete embarrassment to Harry, she would have vomited all over him and his sheets. Harry's comforting hand went up and down her back, immediately distracting her from dying right on the spot.

"I'm sorry, I should have warned you about that," Harry whispered, his green eyes shining with utmost concern. He held her other hand tightly. "Take deep breaths and just look into my eyes."

"You bet," Dani gasped helplessly, trying to swallow the drool and bile in her throat. He surely knew how to calm her down. "What... what was that--" She blinked at Harry, who did not seem so shaken from going through the portal. "Is it like that... every time?"

"Only the first few times," he said, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "I'm sorry."

Dani shook her head and rested her head on the swallow tattoo near his heart. "I'll live." She knew she can go through hell for as long as Harry would be on the other end waiting for her.

"Aren't the two of you so sweet?" a sarcastic voice said from across them, making Dani jump in surprise. "You make me sick."

"W-what..." You'd think the first time Dani met the little imp, she'd freak out. In fact, she was more terrified when she met Harry a few days ago. Maybe that was what made her fearless (kinda), because nothing beats seeing the real Harry in front of her. If she survived that, she can survive anything.

Small Simon did not look anything like she'd imagined. Dani thought he'd be this little cute version of Simon Cowell—not this little, dirty man who'd look like he'd been living in a cave for the past century. He had a long muddy beard, pointed ears, a pointed nose, and a pair of beady eyes that reminded her of rats. He was probably the scariest thing-person she had ever seen.

It was hard to tell whom Small Simon was speaking to if it weren't for the way he was tilting his head at her. He was truly small — not more than 2 feet. He was barefooted and his clothes had seen better days. Nevertheless, his head was bigger than the rest of his body, so you can see all the expressions on his face. Was he an evil elf or an evil dwarf?

"Take a picture, why doncha?" the creature snapped, and Harry hugged her harder. "Oh, how chivalrous of you, Harry... Acting all strong for your lady love." He looked more disgusted than pleased.

Harry frowned. "What is it you want, Small Simon?"

Dani noticed that Harry appeared scared, like a kicked puppy all of a sudden. She couldn't blame him, considering the smart-ass imp was basically a living nightmare to look at. It didn't escape her that every time Small Simon looked at her, it made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. His voice didn't help either — the tone was annoying and terrifying at the same time, always laced with malicious intent.

"Considering you brought the wish-maker here, I thought I'd come to welcome her myself," Small Simon said with a shrug, although his countenance looked anything but hospitable. Turning to Dani he smiled, baring his set of pointed yellow teeth. "Welcome, Danielle Moon, bearer of the Earth Stone."

When Dani's eyes widened, Small Simon laughed darkly, clearly entertained. "It's nothin' fancy, really. I just made that up. Anyways... You came just right in time. I've been wanting to tell you the conditions of Harry's residence under your bed." When he noticed that Dani was still staring, he made a face. "What is it? Do you have any questions for me?"

Dani nodded. "You... You can speak English?"

"OF COURSE I CAN, YOU RACIST IDIOT! JUST BECAUSE I'M NOT HUMAN DOES NOT MEAN THAT I CAN'T ADAPT TO THIS LANGUAGE! I'M A FUCKING EARTH FIEND; OF COURSE I'M NOT BOUND FROM THE UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE!! )!($#*!@#)!"

"Jeez, I was just asking," Dani shot back in a whisper after his outburst.

Small Simon took deep breaths and rubbed his temples. His lips formed a smile, although his eyes were obviously murderous. "Well, darling... That's what you get after asking a stupid question!!!"

"Fine," Dani said after he lost his temper again. "What's the catch then?"

Small Simon frowned. "What do you mean!?"

"What's the catch for granting my wish," Dani clarified. Holding Harry's hand, she looked around the place. "Why would you grant it? I mean, this is BIG." She diverted her eyes from Harry's dong as she said that.

"Small Simon, I'll tell her..." Harry began, but the imp quickly interrupted him.

"Spare me, kid," Small Simon said with a roll of eyes. You couldn't see his pupils rotating, but his face was clearly sarcastic. "We both know you'd tell her how you'd rather make babies or how you'd been thinking about the wish-maker giving you a blow—"

"ME AWAY! I WANT YOU TO BLOW ME AWAY!" A very red Harry screamed in defense, which made Dani roll her eyes. It's not as if she hadn't been thinking about servicing him with her mouth. She'd been seeing his 5th limb since Day One and of course she'd give him a blow—

"JUST TELL ME WHAT IS IT YOU WANT TO SAY!!!" Dani screamed while Harry and Small Simon argued senselessly.

"OKAY!"

"WHY ARE WE SCREAMING!"

"SHUT UP, I'M LEAVING!" Small Simon yelled. He pointed to the wall and glared at Harry. "Remember, the last frame is your ticket home!" Growling to himself, he muttered, "I swear the lot of you are the most frustrating species in the entire universe!" He waved his hand to the side, and a yellow blurb of light appeared.

It was probably a portal, because the wind pressure coming from the light sent a little whirlwind in the small house. Dani and Harry held on to each other.

"WAIT!" Dani screamed as Small Simon slipped one foot inside the yellow light. "You didn't tell me the catch! Why did you grant my wish!?" She had to know. If she wished for a burger or a glass slipper, she wouldn't have been so interested.

The imp just shrugged. "I'm simply returning a favor, you lazy wish-maker. You should have wished sooner!"

"A favor...?" Dani asked.

"Shut up, I have to go!" Small Simon growled as he jumped into the portal that probably led to an imp bathhouse, he pointed at Dani. "By the way, Danielle, you look exactly like your grandmother!" Sticking his tongue out at her, he waved goodbye and disappeared into the light.

The place in complete disarray, the wind finally quiet and calm, Dani gaped at Harry. "What in the world was that..." she trailed off, absorbing everything that just happened. She found it difficult to wrap her mind around everything that happened today. Wasn't it only a while ago that Harry was watching her get frisky with herself, and now she just met the freaky Small Simon, who apparently knew her grandmother!? Still... "I don't understand what he said, Harry."

"I know he can be a little crazy..."

"No," Dani said. "What did he mean about your 'ticket home'...?"

With a sad smile, Harry nodded. "I've been wanting to tell you, but I... I know exactly how to return to my life, Dani."

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