He'd always been weaker than Namjoon. He wasn't born to lead. He gave his heart out too easily. It had taken him a long time to cut himself off, force himself not to wear his heart on his sleeve. Not to trust. But one look at Jeongguk and those years of detachment just flew out the window, and he'd just thrown himself at him.
If given the choice, he'd probably do it again in a heartbeat, and it's almost disgusting how weak he is for Jeon Jeongguk. But he won't . He won't let himself. Not unless Jeongguk got on his damn knees. Taehyung won't be pushed around like this. He won't let Jeongguk play his stupid games anymore. And he knows deep down Jeongguk isn't getting any sort of satisfaction from them either.
Taehyung likes to think he knows Jeongguk. Of course he'd changed, they both had, Jeongguk more so, but underneath all the anger and hurt and the brick walls thrown up, Jeongguk was the same person in high school-- vulnerable, lonely, hurting. Taehyung feels foolish for wanting to try to ease some of that again, and getting hurt in the process. He doesn't want to be an ass, but he won't be a doormat either.
His office phone rings suddenly, and he's jolted out of his thoughts.
"Hello?" he murmurs into the receiver.
"Dr. Jeon is here to see you," his secretary says over the line, and his blood chills. For a moment, he considers lying and telling the woman that he's busy, because the last thing he wants to do is be alone with Jeongguk right now.
"Send him in."
Taehyung can feel the nausea churning in his stomach, a sick kind of dread that weighs down his bones, and waits the few seconds it takes for Jeongguk to reach the door. He turns when he hears Jeongguk step inside, and curses himself for taking even a second to appreciate how beautiful the man is.
"Can I help you?" Taehyung asks, voice clipped, and trying very hard to keep the anxiety at bay.
Jeongguk just lets his eyes rake Taehyung's form lazily, hands in his pockets. "You left early. I had to close the meeting alone," He pauses, an icy smile on his lips. "Not that I can't do it myself, but it would have been nice to have my co-chair there with me. Not very professional, Taehyung ssi."
Taehyung doesn't want to open his mouth, for fear of what will come out if he doesn't collect his thoughts first. But Jeongguk takes the silence as guilt and continues.
"You've had a really bad track record with being professional, haven't you, Taehyung ssi? Am I making you uncomfortable? Have I done something wrong? "
"You know exactly what you did," Taehyung says, praying for his voice not to waver. He'd always been bad at personal confrontation, he was an emotional crier. He'd be damned if Jeongguk saw him cry today.
Jeongguk cocks his head to the side, smiling innocently, but there's something twisted in his eyes. "I can't recall," he shrugs. "Unless, of course, you meant a couple nights ago, when you begged me to fuck you?" Taehyung winces, heart hammering in his chest. "The way I see it, I was just giving you what you wanted. You've always been very good at getting what you want, haven't you?"
Taehyung's vision blurs red, frustration and anger boiling in his blood, and he hears the slap before he feels it, his fingertips burning hot where they had met with Jeongguk's cheek, and the regret punches the air from his throat, but he won't apologize. He has a lot of things to be sorry for, but this is not one of them. Jeongguk's head is turned with the force of the slap, but he keeps his face flat and he flexes his jaw as he turns his head back towards Taehyung, eyes flashing.
"Want? You think I always get what I want?" Taehyung asks, skin burning as tears blur the edges of his vision. He feels like he's going to be sick, but he needs to get the words out while they're on the tip of his tongue. He needs Jeongguk to listen . Jeongguk opens his mouth to retort, but Taehyung cuts him off.
STOP MY HEART
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