Hey, Violet

She

Violet washes off her makeup and looks at herself in the mirror. Her green eyes, while still distinctive, had lost a touch of their shine. Her blue hair was a welcome look by many of her internet followers. She had lost weight, and been much more submissive lately. Like there was a chain reaction from the night of the party. Neither her nor Nick got sick, but it started small.

After seeing the shooting star, she was physically exhausted but mentally awake. She couldn't sleep. She just tossed and turned as Nick snored, it was almost mocking her. That he could sleep, so quickly and easily, while she could not. It started to get to her, so she took a Percocet, 5mg and eventually, fell asleep.

The next day she had trouble sleeping too. This time it was the dog keeping her awake. This threw off her game at the studio, and Nick could tell she wasn't into it. Willing, but not wanted. She continued, for the love of him, she feigned her enthusiasm. He wasn't upset, but they did talk about it later. About half way through, she just lost interest and Nick got frustrated, as she didn't seem interested in the conversation. She didn't want to admit it must be the pills, bringing her down.

The next week was a lot more of the same. This included Violet taking 1-2 pills a day, then 3 a day by the next week. She seemed depressed. Her sex drive was not what it once was even from a week before. Her adventurous youth was his favorite attribute. On one morning in particular, she was acting almost like a dead fish in comparison to her previous self. Nick didn't like that at all, and started to take it personally.

People started to notice and say things about how she was acting, but Steve deleted those comments before anyone ever saw them. It was becoming a big job, paying attention to all of Four Suits media accounts and editing. So Nick rehired Charlotte to handle it all from home.

Charlotte reached out to Violet in mid-May. Told her about the dweebs on the internet and what they were saying. Charlotte called her out on it. Asked her what she thought she was doing? Scolded her on the damage she could do to the company if it was found out she was doing drugs before filming. Violet hung up on her, then called her back after spilling the Perc's she had left down the toilet.

"You did the right thing Vi. I'm proud of you." Charlotte said, sincerely. That was just a few days ago. Now, she had to talk to Nick about it. So she got up early and made them breakfast.

Now, Violet smoked more cigarettes these days. She was up to almost a pack a day, during the immediate aftermath of Percocet withdrawal. Nick hardly noticed anything as she was good about brushing her teeth and stopped taking the pills before he suspected anything more than she was just a little off.

Nick liked it when she took charge in the bedroom. It wasn't that he minded being on top, he just preferred when she was more active, more of an equal participant. Both of them were still having orgasms, she just was less active. When they were done most scenes, they used to be equally sweaty, now it was just Nick's sweat that covered them both. Nick missed her sweating. The smell of the room from their sex in the room, when he would come back in and change the sheets, changed.

About half way through breakfast, Violet finally came out to Nick about the problem. How she'd been taking them since that night in medical uniforms. He asked how he could help her detox. "I guess I was just still going through some stuff with my mom. I'm sorry, I can just stop. I won't be taking anything for a while. I'm sorry I let things get so bad, so fast. At first I couldn't sleep, and then, I just liked how they made me feel. They took away my pain, but too much of it. I wasn't feeling anything anymore."

Nick reached his hand across the table, taking hers. "Do I really sonar that bad?" They laughed together, for the first time in weeks. It felt good, but she wasn't done clearing her conscience. "That just started the story, I take responsibility for my mistakes. My mom taught me that, and in spite of the job, I think she'd be more disappointed in me about this than the porn. I almost lost myself there. I'm sorry I kept this from you, hiding what I was doing, like everyday. I feel awful, like I was lying to you."

Nick didn't like what she was saying, but he appreciated her coming clean and fixing the problem. "That is very responsible of you. Most adults don't have your kind of courage and sincerity. It's why I love you." He held her hand tightly and smiled at her. She smiled back.

"She feels like somebody else, and she's still trying to figure out who she is. Like she's not me, that woman who I see in the mirror sometimes." Nick understood that. He felt the same after his loss, he had even lost weight afterwards too. He keeps seeing himself in this young woman. The same pain, the same loss, the same desires and the desire to be loved. He didn't wonder why he loved her, he just did. Even if she didn't love herself that much at the moment.