Afraid to Fall- H.S.

Chapter Twenty Eight- Please Don't Pretend

"I think I'm falling in love with you," I pause, "and that terrifies me." I look up at him nervously, fidgeting with my hands. His gaze softens, and his smile widens. He looks at me with so much love and care.

He moves closer to me, and his hand holds my jaw. He brings his lips closer to mine, and I lean into him. We shift our positions, so I'm under him. I almost forgot what his touch felt like. This moment feels right and vulnerable. He makes me feel like I can share my thoughts and feelings with him, and that shows as we kiss each other passionately. He pulls away for a split second. "I'll let you know, I started falling a long time ago." He kisses me again, and I smile, thinking about what he just told me. I run my hands through his hair. Why does he have to be perfect? I know people aren't, but for some strange reason he seems like he is. I love him so much. More strange feelings of desire run through me, and it feels so much different then when I was with Ryan. He always had a desire, but it just made me uncomfortable. With Harry, we both have an understanding about each other that Ryan and I never had. I have slept with Ryan, and I'm not proud about it. I never wanted to, but he made me do a lot of things I didn't want to. Although, I know what Harry and I are doing could go further and lead to that tonight, I don't really want to. I don't think I'm ready yet, and he knows that. We always do that. We let it get to a certain part, but then stop because he knows I'm not necessarily ready for that step, and he doesn't think less of me because of it.

We mess around for a while, and his hands graze my curves and my body. After a while, we both pull away, and I lay on his chest. "I'm going to change really quick," I mumble into his chest.

"No," He pouts. "Stay with me." I giggle.

"You're so high maintenance, and no." I jump up from the bed and enter the bathroom, grabbing one of tee shirts from my suitcase. I like sleeping in his shirts and sweatshirts. I brush my teeth and walk out of the bathroom. He's changed into shorts, and has gotten rid of his shirt, which I'm not complaining about.

"So, that's where all my shirts went?" He laughs, and I grin. "Although, they do look better on you." I shove his arm playfully, and I lay on him under the thick, hotel sheets. I close my eyes and savor this moment with him. I feel his chest rise and fall beneath me with each breath he takes. "Avery?" He almost whispers.

"Ya, Harry?" My eyes are still shut.

"Do you ever think about a future with us?" He slowly asks. I open my eyes and look at his tattoos underneath me.

"Kind of," I admit. "I know I want to stay with you as long as you'll let me," I pause. "But, commitment scares me. I just don't want to feel trapped, ya know? I've never felt trapped or restricted with you, but that always worries me. For some reason, with you it's different. I always told myself that love wasn't real, that I would never date again, and that all that love leads to is pain, but you have proved all of those to be wrong. Even if it doesn't work out, seeing if it does will be the best adventure ever. So, I guess I could see a future with you and me. What about you?"

He holds me tighter. "I think it'd be something I'd want, if you'd agree to it. I think it's also something fun to think about." I nod at his answer and smile. Maybe marriage is something I would want with him. We have a long way to go, don't get me wrong, but that'd be a fairy tale life. A life with Harry Styles. I don't like the words fairy tale ending because that's not what I would want. I would want a life where the adventure keeps going.

*******

"Boys, for God's sake, focus!" I yell at them. They're running around like madmen when they're supposed to be getting ready for the show. I'm backstage with them.

Zayn walks up beside me and sighs. "They never listen do they?" I ask Zayn, and he chuckles.

"Nope." Something about Zayn has just been off lately. The circles under is eyes are more prominent, and he's been more quiet.