Depressing Rounds

Poem 31: Thoughts

I don't know why
But I've been thinking lately
About a lot of stuff
Like why am I here?
Why am I like this?
Why don't I start thinking less?
Why can't I sleep?
Why can't I eat?
When I sleep why do I awake screaming, crying?
Why do I hate humans?
Is it because I'm human?
Why am I writing this?
Am I crazy?
Are thougts like this normal?
Is my life normal?
Why am I scared? 

You see I've been thinking a lot
and it's been driving me crazy
thinking of the days I spent
or wasted
Is that what I am?
A waste?
Probably
Am I broken?
Is this just growing up?
If so, then what's it like as an adult?
So many questions for humanity,
Why does it feel like one big what if?
Why can't these thoughts escape my head somewhere else?
Why are there so many gods?
Why are there so many devils?
Why are there so many heavens?
Why are there so many hells? 

Why do we die? 
Why do we cry?
Why must I question everything? 
Do I even exist? 
If what's said is true are we just in the past, reliving it all because we're not quite in the present yet? 
Damn, I feel like such a nerd pondering everything 
But that's all I can do 
Why can't this all be simple? 
Why can't I be given the answers? 
I guess that's just another question to add to the mountain 
What's even happening in my mind 
Am I really blind, but can only see the bad stuff? 
You know if I went in to my mind I wonder what I'd find 
Probably nothing
Isn't that all I am? 
I hate asking so many questions but I can't help it, 
Why can't we all agree? 
Then put on the spot why do we agree? 
Why is this in my mind? 
How was this put in my mind? 
Why doesn't a snake ever tell me to bite from an apple? 
Why am I supposed to read a book thirty-five hundred years old? 
Why should I if a human wrote it? 
Aren't you to be holy? 
Come on tell me? 
Now that I think, if you are real then I'll regret even writing this
In fact I probably will tomorrow 

Why can't I be normal? 
Why do I support gay rights? 
Why is humanity like this? 
Why am I making so many spelling errors 
Why are we here? 
But that's asked too often 
The real question is, Where would we be? 
Now that Ithink of it questioning his existance happens to often as well 
Why is everything infinite? 
Why is Earth so great? 
Is Earth so great? 
Why don't we want to make Earth great? 
Why would Earth be great? 
For having monkeys on it?
If one monkey eats shit, don't the rest want to do it? 
Damn we're stupid 

Does life always have to be confusing? 
Why does life have to be so painful? 
Why do I have to be so mindful? 
Why am I so quiet? 
Why is this happening to me? 
Why am I in overload? 
Because it's 3AM? 
Why do I want to take pill? 
Aren't I too young? 
"Too young?" acording to who? 
Some people trying to give children no rights? 
I feel like I've been writing too much, 
Why? 

Why is school important? 
Will it matter when I'm dead? 
Why do I think more than I talk? 
Is it because I have no one to talk to? 
Why can't I just say this? Instead of typing and posting it on the internet? 
Why are you even reading this? 
Why can't we live without our phones? 
Why is it that not untiil this generation SWAG became popular? 
Wasn't swag created in 80's? 
Wasn't swag made up to support gay rights? 
Why can't we be gay? 
Why do some people have problems with each other? 
Is it the way we're raised?
What's wrong with not thinking straight? 
I'm thinking in all directions, is that bad? 
Why do people judge before meeting one another? 
Why do we judge other when we've never been in their shoes? 
"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view, umtil you climb into his skin and walk around in it" 
That's quite the quote 
You find those when you read 

Do you ever feel like there is nothing to live for? 
Or just wonder what it'd be like if you were dead? 
I'm sure if I died only like three people would care 
But that's life, right? 
Well if so, you do something great for people to remember you by, right? 
You make one change in the world no matter how big or small the change,
"It doesn't matter ehat you do, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away" 
Is he correct? 
Yes? 
No? 
Maybe so? 
I think that's what some of us need to do 
And make change for the greater 
For this planet, make it great 
And not some all of us need to work towards the greater good 
Otherwise we'll end up wasting our lives 
I don't think we were given life to waste it 
Instead to stand, and work towards something wonderful, 
Correct? 
Am I? 
Or am I just out of my mind? 

Well my thoughts are going to keep me up the rest of the night 
To me that's quite the fright 
I hope I have the might,
to not end it here and now 
I don't want to leave, 
yet I don't have much control 
I hope my thoughts don't take over