Lover of mine ~ 5sos

Chapter 15

It's been a week since the night I spent with Calum.
I'm unsure how to feel about the whole situation, it seems like he's been avoiding me since.
I know I need to talk to him but whenever I've tried to start a conversation with him, he's just told me he's busy.
I don't want to pressure him into anything, but things are just feeling off- it's awkward. I just want my friend back, my roomie, my band mate, I want to be able to chat about my day and not feel like I'm talking to myself.

I'm just chilling out on the couch, scrolling through social media when Calum arrives home, I decide that it's now or never.
"Hey, Calum. Can we talk?".
He shrugs, "I'm kind of just in the mood to be left alone, sorry".
I hop off the couch, and walk over to him, blocking his path, "Or we could watch a movie?".
He brushes past me, "No thanks".
I grab his arm, and sigh out of frustration, "Calum, you've been avoiding me all week.."
He shrugs and heads into his bedroom.
I follow him, I can't go on like this, I need answers, "Calum, please talk to me, I can't go on like this, it's like stepping on egg shells with you".
He sits down on his bed, face in his hands, he takes a deep breath before replying, "Look, I'm sorry for avoiding you, but I can't help it. I'm scared. I've never felt like this before, I just needed some space".
I sit down on the bed next to him, "I understand, I've been so worried that this would ruin our friendship".
He gets up, pacing back and forth across the bedroom, "I hate to say this, but maybe it's best if we just stay friends?".
My heart drops, I feel used, I put on a fake smile, "Is that really what you want?".
He can't even look me in the eye, "No, it's not. I want you, of course I want you. I've never felt like this about anyone.." he pauses, "But I need to do the right thing".
I nod, unsure how to respond.
It's silent, moments pass, not a word spoke, until he sighs, "I still need time to think, but I don't want to get your hopes up. You're an amazing girl Y/N, and I know I'm going to regret not making you mine, you're everything I've ever wanted but you're also one of my best friends, and we're in a band together. I think it's also best if we don't tell anyone about this?".
I nod, this isn't what I wanted but I understand. I really hope things aren't awkward for us in future.

He walks over to me, placing a gentle kiss on my cheek, "Things will be okay".