Feel Real

Sixteen

We're now at the end of our trip in California. Last day at the beachside cabin. This trip has been incredible. It's been everything I imagined. The adventures and exploring has taught me so much; about life and even science. Ara is to be thanked for both.
Ara and I are sitting on the beach at sunset. This is the long-awaited moment after two months of getting to know each other. I'm really nervous and super excited to finally ask her to br my girl. I've to wait a little longer since she's in the midst of a Pagan ritual/prayer. Witnessing how beneficial Paganism is to her is great due to it being a coping skill for her. And seeing how it's helping her progress. "The past two months and this trip has been absolutely wonderful." She says in awe after prayer, looking out at the ocean. My heart is about to explode of love right now. "It really has been. Y'know you've impacted my life all for the better." I reply back passionately, turning to her before kissing her cheek. She smiled her radiantly beautiful, contagious smile, "I'm so glad I do. I can so very easily day the same about you, Ry." She replied lovingly while looking at me. Now is the moment of truth. Holding her hand, locking my fingers with hers as I looked into her eyes, I spilled it all out. "Samara, I've been wanting to ask you this for such a long time," I started passionately; anxiety getting bad. She lit up brighter than the sun. I think she knows what's coming. "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" Immediately she gently pulled my face in and kissed me deeply. This kiss being far different than all of the kisses we've had before. This doesn't feel as held back and toned down. The way she is caressing my cheek, the slowness of the passionate, deep kiss almost feels like everything around us has stopped. The feelings and emotions I'm experiencing is inexplicable. Slowly breaking the kiss, our faces still close and her hand still caressing my cheek as she gazed into my eyes with romance, she smiled a smile I've never seen from her before. I'm getting giddy yet more anxious though I've a feeling I know her answer by this moment. "I have waited for this exact moment. I have waited for this question for so long. Definitely yes!" Ara says softly and excitedly with passion. I've melted. Soul and heart are melted. After nine years the barriers have been dropped. I did something I never thought I'd ever see myself do again. This moment is the most miraculous moment I've ever had. So overwhelmed with overwhelmingly good emotions and feelings. I pulled her in for a firm, assuring hug. It's all I can do right now since I'm speechless. "I know your last relationship ended horribly for so many sad reasons. I assure you your heart is safe, protected, and cherished. You are so deeply loved. You are wanted, needed. You are cherished. You are so strong, Ryan and I can't begin to express how proud I am of you." She cooed. This is exactly why I want her as my girl out of all the reasons. I teared up a little bit and squeezed her tighter. We stayed like this for a bit. We remained silent as we hugged like this; listening to the waves crash and the birds chirp as the sun began to set even more. "Thank you for being in my life." I whisper softly in awe as we broke the hug with me caressing both her delicate cheeks. Ara smiled, brushing loose strands of hair away from my eyes, "You are so very welcome babe! And thank you for being apart of mine!" Ara gleamed softly. We went into the cabin for the night. As Ara showered, I had to make a post for her. Aforementioned I never post on social media. Ever. I posted two pictures of us; one being of her walking into the ocean with her back to me tonight and one of us from a few nights ago where she was kissing my cheek when we were laying in bed after having woke up. I didn't put a caption other than a black heart and tagging her username. I haven't been this happy in years. Laying in this cosy bed, in the softly lit bedroom with a cheesy ass grin on my face. John and Meredith immediately texted me.
John: YOOOOO ABOUT DAMN TIME!!!! CONGRATS! I swear you best treat her like a damn goddess. She is literally perfect for you.

Meredith: Dude she is the sweetest girl out there. She's one helluva talented musician. You and her are perfect for each other. So happy for you bro!

I love my bandmates. They're like my brother and sister.

I muted my phone and got two blunts ready. One for me and one for my girl. She's getting the bigger one. Ara finished with her shower, coming into the room with a gorgeous ass smile. "What are you so happy about?" I teased her while laughing. "What are you so happy about?" She playfully mocked back. She got into bed, straddling my lap then kissing me softly for a quick second. "Oh so you're already stealing my clothes now, huh?" I laughed as I noticed she's wearing my Traitors t-shirt. Thickening her Slovakian accent she hits back with, "It's not your shirt. It's OUR shirt, comrade." We both laughed. Grabbing our blunts with me giving her the doink, "To celebrate our special day. This kush will get us extremely fucked up." I told her while giving her the lighter. Ara kissed my forehead before sparking up. I'm admiring her; her bare-faced beauty, her soul, personality, sense of humour; everything about her. She gave me the lighter so I could spark up. "Goddamn this some good shit. My god I'm feelin' it already." Ara sounds so fucking mellow already. Plus she takes massive hits and holds them for quite a bit. I do the same. "Bro you are literally the ultra violet of the autism spectrum." She deadpanned out of the blue, trying to maintain composure from laughing her ass off. I lost my shit and died laughing which made her laugh harder then made me laugh harder. "My big retard energy caused the big bang." She laughed harder which again made me laugh harder then her. "Babe I've some news for you. It's scary," I struggled to contain my laughter. She was laughing still. "I got diagnosed with stage 69 ligma balls." We both cracked up even harder than before; Ara fell back on the bed cry laughing. I stopped recording the video and climbed on top of her to smother her in kisses. "Ara you are so cute." I said between kisses. The stunning face of hers turned bright red with her flaunting a gorgeous smile. Her stop sign red eyes looked into mine, "You are adorable Ry. On a side note, I'm starving!" Smiling down at her as I ran my fingers thru her soft, damp hair I asked "What do you want to eat, baby girl? I can make you something nice or we can pig it out like the stoners we are." Ara giggled her cute stoned giggle before replying, "Lets pig it out." She and I grabbed our phones before I scooped her up off the bed, receiving a cute squeak as I did so. "You are gonna get so spoiled from this moment on, Samara." I lovingly say as I carried her to the kitchen and placing her on the counter. When I placed her on the countertop she pulled me close and kissed me deeply. Our arms wrapped around each other as we had this meaningfully deep kiss. "What do we got, babe?" She asks as I broke from the kiss to scope out what to use for the ultimate stoner feast. She being the goofball she is spanked my ass when I walked to the pantry. "Ara that's my job for you." I laughed. She giggled at my comment. "I can make us some wings and macaroni bites. We got ice cream and Fruity Pebbles." I tell her. "Dude that shit sounds good. Fuck yeah!" Ara is pumped up for this feast. Definite girlfriend material. I heard her gasp then mutter 'aww' excitedly as I got the ingredients ready for both. I think she saw my Instagram post. Ara hopped off the counter and quick hugged me from behind. Couldn't help but smile at that. Prepping the wing sauce concoction I quoted the Bekfast Vine under my breath. Ara laughed hard about it. I looked at her and laughed with her, "You heard me?" "Duh! Of course," she laughed before slowly saying in a southern twang "What is goin' on in here?" "Bekfast!" I piped up. "You can't eat this!" She finished in the slowly drawn out southern twang. Funny thing is Ara does that spot on to a T. "Babe you wanna take over as I pack us a bowl? If you'd like that." I ask, looking at her. "I gotchu, darlin'." I washed my hands off and went to the bedroom to pack us a fat bowl. Going back out to the kitchen I was going to take a picture of her until she looked at me with hella sass outta the blue. I know she's being a smartass so I decided to record her shenanigans. "Whoever threw that pencil yo mom's a hoe." She deadpanned to a T. We cracked up over her impression. This is all I have ever dreamt about. This dream has come true. Found a girl who's a genuine sweetheart, gorgeous on the inside and out, has a pure heart and soul, has a brilliant sense of humour, who also happens to be a musician in the scene as well. I stood right where I was at, smiling like a dork. "What?" She teased. "You." I mockingly teased back before going to her and kissing her cheek. "What about me you dork?" She giggled. "Everything about you, beatdown queen." I replied softly in awe. Ara looked at me so astoundingly lovestruck then washed her hands to hug me. "You're a wonderful man." Again, I melted. Those four words have never been used in the same sentence towards me. I swear I need to marry her in a couple years. "Thank you, sweetheart," I thanked her lovingly before handing her the bowl, "Ladies first. Have as much as you want or as little as you want. It's still that good shit that's got us wicked fucked up right now." "Fuck yeah!"
I placed her back on the countertop to continue making the food. She sparked the fuck up. This girl knows how to smoke so damn well. She can probably out smoke me. In four massive hits she smoked the whole thing of this good ass kush. "I'm feelin' it Mr. Krabs!" She laughed hysterically when she finished. I laughed at her laughter. "You're so fucking gone and goofy right now." I laughed while putting the chicken in the oven.

***

We had our stoner feast. We're in bed. She's in her usual position of being snuggled up into me, asleep. I'm dozing off and absent-mindedly scrolling thru Instagram. Ara posted a few pictures of us and the goofy videos from tonight.
I love you dumbass. 06/06/2018
I slightly chuckled at her caption. We're that couple where we "insult" each other though we know what not to use as playful insults towards each other. I looked slightly down at my sleeping beauty and smiled, "You are always loved. You are safe. You are protected. You are cared about. You won't ever have to worry about getting hurt again. I promise, Samara." I whisper as I got cosier with her.
Tonight has been the greatest night ever.