Feel Real

Twelve

Hey guys! It's Mona. Tour has been going so well. We're about a month in and have two left to go. Josh and I have been FaceTiming every moment we're able to since I'm touring and he is prepping for TOTH's tour. Tonight Nemesis, Bodysnatcher, Kublai KhanTX, and Falsifier are in Chicago, IL. All of us bands have everything loaded into the venue now we're chilling. The guys are doing their thing whereas I'm just chilling by myself outside towards the back of the venue to minimise anxiety. Touring has been taking a slight toll on my mental health. I am still utilising all of my coping skills and persevering. As I was scrolling on my phone and hitting my vape I hear "Hey. Are you Mona of Nemesis?" I look up from my phone to see a guy about 6'4". He has medium-short length dirty blond/ginger hair, glasses, thin lips, and blue eyes. He was wearing a Nemesis shirt too. I must admit he is quite handsome. "Yes I am. And you are?" I answer warmly. "I'm Ryan. Guitarist of a local band called VCTMS." He replies with a smile. "Feel free to sit and chill with me, man. Nice to meet you." I offer him as we did a bro handshake. That's how I interact with everyone that I meet. Unless they ask for a hug then I'll give them one. "I'm actually a huge fan of VCTMS. You guys are really good. I haven't seen y'all live though which I really want to. Heard y'all put on kick ass sets." I tell him kindly before putting my vape to my lips and taking a drag then looking at Ryan. He chuckled and smiled, rubbing the back of his neck a little bit, "Thanks so much. We try our best. Why you back here if you don't mind me asking?" He asks while looking at me. We made brief eye contact which made me blush a tiny bit. I so hope he didn't notice. "I tend to distance myself before shows to decompress. It's the only times I'm able to get me time. Touring sucks," I sigh. "I totally understand that. If you want me to I can leave you be." He offers. "No, no. You're fine. It's nice to meet someone from my favourite band on a whim. And thank you for coming to support us. Really means a lot. This is my first ever tour, too." I giggle slightly. He moved slightly closer to me, nudging my arm to have me look down. He had four joints. "Wanna smoke?" He offers. "Please. Will help my nerves." I laughed. We both sparked our own joints and smoked a little bit in silence before the silence was broken by him saying, "I must say you're really cute." I looked down, smiling. I feel this weird feeling in my heart. Kinda like that feeling where your heart skips a beat in a good way. I looked at him as I said "Thank y-" but was cut off by him kissing me. I instinctively kissed back for a couple seconds before pushing him off, "Ryan, I don't know if you saw my left hand." I sternly told him. He looked confused. The confusion subsided as I held out my left hand. He looked embarrassed and ashamed. "Oh my god I'm so sorry. I should've asked." He apologised with fluster. "Hey, relax. I'm not mad or angry. I'm not gonna send anyone to kick your ass. Don't do it again. We can be friends?" I firmly told him before taking a massive drag from my joint. God I'm stoned as fuck. Ryan ran his hand thru his thick hair and sighed, "Definitely friends. You're chill as fuck. I'm so sorry for not clarifying. How long have you been engaged?" He took a massive drag from his joint before looking at me. His eyes are so squinted and red it's funny. Kinda adorable too. My eyes feel heavy and bloodshot. I'm probably clapped. "A little over a month. Working on arranging the wedding with my fiancé as I'm touring. Both at the same time is so fucking stressful although I'm living my dream of being a musician and touring and the stress of wedding planning is so worth it," I smiled like a dork at the end as I brought up wedding planning. At the corner of my eye I saw him smiling too. "Your smile is so cute. You are attractive. Your fiancé is one lucky man. Congratulations to you both." He warmly says to me. "Thank you." I laughed. My phone started vibrating. It was Josh calling to FaceTime. "Pardon me. Actually, would you like to meet my fiancé?" I asked Ryan. "Sure." He replied gladly. I answered Josh. "Hey gaywad! How's it going, gorgeous?" Josh says excitedly with laughter as he smiled his precious smile. Ryan laughed at what Josh said then took a drag from his joint. "Hey king retard! It's a going. Just chilling before the show," I start as I hit my joint and moved the phone a bit to show Ryan. "I'm smokin' a J with Ryan from VCTMS. Ryan, this is my fiancé Josh." Josh bursted out laughing, "Goddamn how stoned are y'all? And hey Ryan! Been a hot minute!" Josh says happily. "Oh shit hey Josh! Congrats on your engagement to Mona! You best take good care of her or I'll fly to California and throw hands." Ryan says excitedly to Josh. They know each other? Ryan and I need to have a firm, set agreement to keep the kiss a sealed secret. "Trust me dude she's in good hands." Josh assures Ryan as Joshy prepared a bowl. "How do y'all know each other?" I asked. "A couple years back I went to a Tear Out The Heart show when they were here. I smoked with Josh. Became buds that night. Every pun intended at our stoner asses." Ryan answered me, laughing at the end. The three of us talked for some time until Ryan and I finished our joints right before Falsifier was about to start. "Good luck babygirl! You kick ass. Keep your head up, keep fighting. Everyday on tour is one day closer to us being together again. I love you so much Mona and I miss you dearly." Joshy said warmly with some sadness in his voice. "I will do all of that my love. I promise. I love you bunches and bunches and miss you dearly." We blew kisses at each other then Ryan and Josh said bye. Josh told Ryan to hit him up after the call about maybe collabing with each other. Ryan and I head in for the sets.