Feel Real

Thirty

I stretched and woke up to find the bed next to me empty. My anxiety got super bad. I hope Ara didn't up and leave again. I instinctively checked my phone and luckily saw she's having band practise. I didn't realise it's 1 in the afternoon. Jesus. I smoked a couple blunts and went on to do a couple guitar trackings for my solo stuff as well as a VCTMS song. Around 3 as I was tracking, she came home. I stopped tracking to spend time with her. "I missed you babe!" Ara gleamed and ran to me, jumping in my arms as I came down the hallway. My heart skipped a few beats out of excitement. I kissed her cheek and hugged her tightly, "I missed you just as much, princess," I joyusly replied then putting her down and asking "How'd practise go?" "It went really good!" She chirped, sitting on the couch and rolling a blunt for us to share. "My band goes on tour in a week!" She happily says, quick looking up at me with a smile then looking back at rolling our blunt. My heart sunk a little bit. I'm so happy for her and can't wait to see what she has in-store for her career but what has me sad is we literally just got back together... all we can do is indulge in every second together. I sat on the couch next to her right as she finished rolling the blunt. Honestly Ara does a better job rolling than I do. "Here babe. You get dibs for once." She tried offering. "Princess, ladies first. I have chivalry and stoner chivalry." I politely declined, laughing. Ara sparked up and got in my lap. She is so pretty. Even with her super super short hair. I've never really found women with shaved heads to be attractive but Ara... she's the most beautiful, divine being to walk this earth. She shaved her head after we broke up as her hair was super damaged from constant dyeing/bleaching. She's a natural blond. Ara took a slow massive drag, held it then grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and exhaled it as we kissed. I swear I'm gonna marry her one day. Samara slowly broke the kiss, looking down while giggling and biting her lip in the cutest manner. I hit the blunt and smirked childishly, shaking my head at her preciousness. "Look at me." I cooed whilst stroking her cheek. She obeyed and made eye contact. "You are so pretty. And the confidence you carry is just as pretty." Geez now I fully know why people say they can hear how in love she and I are. The tones of when we speak with each other and even when we're busy and someone asks about one another. I passed her the blunt again and she took another fat hit before returning it to me, shining a vibrant smile at me. Her cheeks were bright red with blushing. As I hit the blunt, Samara held onto my free hand. "Thank you Ryan. I know you struggle with esteem at times," she cooed. She put her hands on my chest; right over my heart, "This right here, the very thing that is keeping you alive; the very thing you intentionally barricaded for years, is far more beautiful and valuable than the Hope Diamond," I began to tear up which she wiped away delicately, "Those beautiful blue eyes are breathtaking. Your humour makes my abs hurt," she began, giggling at the last sentence, "Your personality is impeccable. Your precious face is the cutest most best thing to wake up to every day. You as a whole are a gem and a pleasure to be around." She assured me before snagging the blunt and again taking a fat hit. She leaned back slightly to ash it and as she leaned back up I hugged her tightly and buried my face in her chest. Almost as if I was clinging for dear life. I'm highkey crying tears of happiness and astonishment because I am with the most perfect woman there is. Samara hugged me back just as tight, playing with my hair, "Baby, I love you more than I'll ever be able to express. You are special and I'm grateful to call you mine." Samara whispered into my hair. I need to marry her some day. My heart is exploding of joy, love, happiness. I took my head out of her chest to see her smiling and looking at me with such love, romance, desire and attraction towards me. She finished the blunt, leaning back to ash it. I pulled her close to me and slowly made out with her when she sat back up. This kiss isn't as passionate like we were about to fuck. It was...one of those kisses where you feel needed and wanted by your true love; almost feels like your hearts and souls are connected and intertwined by gold. Feeling the delicate touch of her warm hands on my cheeks as we kiss warms my soul even more. I slowly broke the kiss after what seemingly felt forever; both of us looking at each other with romance and passion. Her beautiful red and blue-grey eyes twinkled in the bright sunlight coming thru the windows and it made me fall even harder for her. Ara could tell I was admiring her since she smiled in the most precious way. "How did I manage to get so goddamn lucky to be blessed with a queen like you?" I cooed, stroking her cheek. Samara smiled even more, giggling a little bit, "Can very much say the same about you, king." That was the cutest thing she said I couldn't help but to pull her super close to my chest. "I love you with all of my heart." I cooed to her. "And I love you with every ounce of my being Ry baby." She whispered softly with joy before so very gently kissing my cheek. Maybe once she's back from tour I might ask to marry her. I don't know yet though as we've been together for about 6 months; obviously not counting the two we were broken up.