Feel Real

Twenty Nine

Ara was discharged a couple days ago and we're back to living with each other. Again, I'm as happy as can be. But, we had the idea to discuss what happened. Even with the health scare she had, she agreed on me with having this discussion. We sat on the couch facing each other as it gives each other the fullest sense of 'I hear you'. I started the discussion with asking "What can I do to best help you with your health?" "Checking up on how I'm feeling; pain-wise. Based on what the answer is you'll know the pain boundaries will be," she started, allowing me time to ask "What are your pain boundaries?" "On bad days: be extra, extra careful and gentle as I am overly sensitive to touch. Sex more than likely won't happen. Hold my hand for hugs and cuddles, even though we are almost always holding hands," She happily started, laughing at the end, then continuing with "Something as simple as clothes hurt on those days. On good days: hug me as tight as you want. Cuddle me as long as you want. Fuck me as hard as you want." She laughed at the end, in turn making me laugh. Her cute laugh is super contagious. "What helps you with flares?" I ask, holding her hand and locking fingers. "I'm on medicine which has helped. I have gone vegan to help as flares can be triggered by diet," she started, pausing to allow me to ask "What foods trigger flares?" I quick let go of her hand to get my phone to take note of this as this will be harder to remember. "Unnatural sugars, alcohol, meat and meat byproducts/animal protein, high amounts of carbs." I quietly repeated those as I typed them so she knew I still have her full attention. I looked up from my phone to ask "So I'm assuming fruits, no alcohol, obviously no meat and nothing with traces of meat/animal byproduct, and minimal carbs are how you do it?" She smiled and nodded. I put my phone down and held her hand again, "Anything else you need to ask baby?" She enthusiastically asks with a warming smile that I returned. "Just know I will be far more patient and gentle; I will treat this with more sensitivity than before if that's the right word?What about you babygirl?" I asked warmly. She tackled me in a hug which ended me up laying down. She laid on top of me, radiating happiness and joy, "That means so much Ry baby. And that's the correct word; I know the context you meant it in. Thank you for talking with me about this." I ran my fingers thru her now natural dirty blond hair and gave a gentle kiss on her forehead, "No need to thank me Samara. It's the correct thing to do. Also, want me to make you some food?" She smiled and nodded, "Please baby? Some cauliflower steak. If you know how to make steak, this is no different. Except it's a bit easy to burn so be careful. While you're making it I gotta track vocals." She playfully pouted at first. I laughed at her, "God you're too cute. And I got you babe. Go do your vocals and I'll make your food." We quick kissed and she got off of me, "I'll text you when it's done babygirl. I don't want to interrupt your recording." I lovingly tell her as she headed down the hall to our music room, "Okay babe! Thank you bunches!" She gleefully responded from the hall before I heard the door close. I started gathering the ingredients and prepping dinner. I could hear her just go at it with her vocals. I stopped and listened in awe. I got out my phone and took a video recording of her vocals bellowing down the hall. I posted it to my Instagram story; Making dinner for us and I get one helluva show. I mean, I do though!! I went back to preparing dinner and in that time this girl did two songs, in one straight take for each. How?! After about fifteen minutes of recording she finished and came out. I had dinner all done and on the table for us, cooking utencils cleaned and put away. Samara looked so elated. I looked at her in astonishment. "What are you lookin' at loverboy?" She teased as approached me, holding my hands and standing on her toes to kiss me. "Also, dinner looks really good. 'I'm a bad cook' my ass." She playfully teased. I cocked an eyebrow, "You tryna get your hot ass punished after dinner or what?" I laughed and spanked her, causing her to giggle. "Anyway lets eat, wise ass." I teased while pulling her chair out for her to sit then pushing her in. Swear my girl almost cried of joy. "Feast up, my queen." I lovingly said as I sat across from her. "Thank you Ryan." She happily said to me. "You are always very welcome babygirl." We ate and shot the shit. Lots of laughter. I'm not saying this just because she's my girlfriend but she is the funniest human being I've ever met. She truly is. Most of dinner we held hands. She took her phone out and I know she captured this moment. I also did the same with her. "Babe you did fantastic with dinner." She lovingly complimented out of the blue between the laughter. I blushed badly while smiling, "All for you my love. But that's not all." I happily tell her while giving her a doink. She sparked up and went to the living room while I cleaned up the table from dinner. Shit, she's inspired me to take better care of myself diet-wise. I'm not much of a drinker. Prefer the devil's lettuce. "Hey Ryan I've a question for you." Ara says from the living room. "Hit me with it." I reply, finishing up the dishes. "I'm thinking about getting sterilised. Personally I'm set on it but I need to know what you think of it." She replies nervously. I'm all for her making the decision and choice. Being a touring musician I don't want kids. Plus, I'm not fond of 'em. I know she isn't although I know she knows to not say that in the appointments regarding getting the surgery. I know it's for her health and profession as well. I went out to the living room, plopping down on the couch with my own doink. Before I sparked up I looked at her and said assuringly "I know your reasons. Go for it babygirl. Plus it's your body," then I deadpanned "Now you get to be my eternal twinkie." Before sparking up. Ara laughed her ass off, "Oh my godddd! You're not wrong on that," I took a long drag of my doink before laughing. She calmed down to say "I appreciate your support on this choice. I knew you'd be more than okay with it though I just wanted to make sure." I kissed her cheek then muttered "Twinkie twinkie twinkie." She heard it and laughed again which made me laugh. She finished her doink and snuggled up against me and fell asleep in no time. I can only imagine how shitty of sleep she got when we were apart. She's just as tired as I am. Soon after my doink I dozed off and fell asleep too.