Feel Real

Thirty Two

I woke up in the dead of night to Ara calling me. It's 2:30 in the morning and she's calling me, has my anxiety so bad. She's been on tour for three weeks now. "Samara what's wrong?" I asked worriedly. "Ryan, I have some news," she nervously started. I feel sick from anxiety. "What is it?" I ask more nervously. She sighed, "So you know how I brought up I wanted to get sterilised? About that... I'm pregnant. Was supposed to get my period two weeks ago and I've felt like shit the past week. I still have my IUD in and I'm not due for a new one for another two years." Oh shit... I face-palmed. I tried saying something but nothing came out. "Ryan, I don't want to keep it. Shit, it'd need to be aborted anyway because of the IUD." She croaked. I know abortion is hard regardless of making the choice and decision to get one. She and I can't and don't want to be parents. "Samara, I know it's hard. I'm not mad at you nor upset. Do you need to come home? Or do you need me to come out to wherever you get the abortion? I got your back no matter what," I assured her before adding "I'm so sorry, honey." With immense remorse. Ara broke down crying. God if only I could be with her right now. It hurts when she cries. It hurts and stings like a motherfucker that she's crying and all the way in Las Vegas. "Please come out to me. Won't be for another month and a half that I can get it done. Looking at July 25th to do it; will be in Boston. And Ryan, you have nothing to be sorry about; I pinky promise. Thank you for being right by my side on this decision and helping me...I wish like hell you were here." She cried. Tears streamed down my face though I kept my composure as she's distraught, "Sweetie, you are very welcome. Anything you need, I always got you. And you know that. Need me to sleep on the phone with you tonight? I'm extremely worried about you." I cooed thru silent crying. "Please, babe. I need it. And I'm so sorry for waking you up. Literally just found out about this not even ten minutes ago." She yawned. I yawned too, "I'm right here babe. Get ready for bed and lay down." Simultaneously right as I was about to switch the call to FaceTime, she did it. I have never seen her so heartbroken and distraught it kills me. "There's my pretty girl." I sleepily cooed hoping she'd smile; even if it's the smallest smile. She smiled the tiniest smile. "I love you so much. I miss you more than ever before." She yawned while laying down and getting comfortable. "I love and miss you just as much sweet girl." I sleepily cooed. She smiled another tiny smile. Lord have mercy someone needs to invent teleportation now. "We'll get thru this together, Samara. I promise." I assured her once again. She dozed off, nodding. "Thank you my love. I'm super sleepy." She yawned. "You are very welcome Samara. Go to sleep. I'm here." I yawned too. "Goodnight babyboy. I love you so much." She sleepily replied. "Goodnight precious babygirl. I love you to the edge of the universe and back. Sleep well, honey."
We were out in the matter of minutes.