Why Her? (13 Reasons Why)

Chapter 11

"Dear anxiety, leave me alone"

[Vanessa Baker's POV]

It was late afternoon and someone knocked on my door. Mom was downstairs with a friend and had locked me up to sleep since Zach brought me. I didn't deign to open up and get out of my comfort zone, so I blurted out "Come in!" as sweet as possible.

"Nessie," my mom said while opening the door, "Your friend came to see you."

"Which friend?," I asked and Zach posed with a bunch of roses, my favorite flower.

"Thank you, Mrs. Baker," the Asian smiled and my mother looked at me. She mouthed a "He's gorgeous" and left.

"You're here," I said and he smiled.

"Where do I leave this?," he pointed at the flowers.

"Anywhere," I was looking at his dirty top from his practice and he laughed.

"What are you laughing at?" He asked.

"You cleaned the whole field with your sweater, huh?", I pointed out, "You won't come to my bed with that on".

"Oh, come on Nessa," he laughed, "It's just a sweater."

"And this is my sacred place, Dempsey," I answered in the same way, "How about the practice?"

"As usual. You had practice with the girls but I told Chloe what happened and she told me not to worry, that later she gives you the details."

"You are lovely," I kissed him on the cheek.

"I must ask you something," he hesitated for a second, "Why did you have that panic attack? What happened?"

Oh no. Not that again.

"Zach...", I whispered, "I wish I could tell you--"

"Tell me, I'm your most reliable person in the room and I solemnly swear that I will not tell anyone," he jokingly raised his right hand and I laughed.

"Do you remember I told you a while ago that my sister and my parents had been through a lot in Moldova?," I lied and he nodded, "It kinda was my fault."

"Why?"

"It was my old partner who hurt them. He's not a very good person to say the least... And he was bailed out of jail this morning."

"Oh, Nessie," he gave me a hug and I almost started to cry.

"My parents don't know it's my fault, Zach..." I lied, but I also had the truth in a certain sense. 

My parents don't know about my history with Flynn, nor did Hannah. I can't look at them or my sister's grave without thinking of how life would've been if I didn't leave. That feeling of disappointment within my very soul.

"I think he is coming for me," I said, "I really do think he is capable."

"Don't worry about it, I'll be here to protect you," he kissed me on the lips.

"That's why I skipped high school too much. I felt this would happen and I can't put everyone at risk too and I started to gasp and--"

"You are not going to put anyone in danger, Vanessa. I'll keep you safe here and he won't harm you," he hugged me, "I love you, Nessie."

"Me too, Zach," I replied.

[...]

"It can't be true," I burst out laughing, "I don't believe you!"

"Well you should," Zach laughed.

"It's not true that you were an ugly kid before. I don't believe it!"