HotWings

Even At the Cost of My Life

Hawks opened his eyes, a smile already stretched across his face.
It kind of hurt his cheeks but he just couldn't stop it.
Dabi looked at him from across the bed, wincing at a little movement.
"You're a bottom," Hawks teased.
"I topped you two out of three times! That makes you the bottom dumbass." Dabi crossed his arms. "Besides, this was a one time exception."
Hawks was about to correct the villain and tell him it had been three out of four times considering what happened in the bathroom at the party, but thought better of it.
Fuck. I gotta get that suit dry cleaned or some shit. Can they even get those kind of stains out?
I don't want to explain it to Clara at the front desk-
I mean, who the hell hooks up in suits?
Dabi swung out of bed, pulling his pants on. "Hey, Birdie?"
"Yeah?"
"I forgot to tell you yesterday, but we're going to take down this is city in one month, okay?"
Hawks's mouth went dry.
"When?"
"December twenty-seventh I believe- I'll give you a fact check. Shigaraki is going to host a big meeting at the mansion with all our new recruits this Friday to discuss finalized plans. Isn't that exciting!" The villain grinned down at him, pulling a shirt on.
"I'll be able to finally set Stain's ideal world into motion- with a my own twist of course." He winked. "Twice is finally going to be accepted by more than just us! And you. You're gonna have free time."
Hawks choked back the tears biting at the backs of his eyes as Dabi continued.
"Once this is done, you and me can retire to some countryside house. Hell- we don't even have to stay in Japan! The world is our oyster. Maybe we can adopt a cute little kid and raise them up in the new world that we create. Doesn't that sound magic?"
His blue eyes were shimmering with excitement, and he had the biggest smile on his face.
"It does sound wonderful."
Too bad we can't have it. And you won't want me after this is all done.
"Dabi?" Hawks hesitated, taking a deep breath. "Do you love me?"
The villain paused.
He seemed to think about it for a moment.
"Nope."
"I-"
"I'm kidding! Of course I love you! More than anything else in this life or any other." He knelt in front of the hero. "And nothing you do will ever change that."
I'm not so sure about that.
"But what if-"
Dabi placed a finger on his lips, silencing him.
"When you really love someone, you never truly stop. No matter how painful it can be, they always have a part of your heart.
And well, you have my whole heart- and some other parts of me too."
Hawks smiled, but not because he was happy to hear those words, no.
They shattered him.

One week later....

I'm back, writing again.
I don't think I'm writing to myself anymore.
I'm writing to you, Dabi.
I really hope you're reading this.
If you are I'm most likely dead, or you're most likely in prison. Or both.
I'm sorry.
You won't believe me when I say it- but I'm so very sorry.
I do love you though.
I always will.
Anyways-
Today I met with the Commission.
I filled them in on what Shigaraki said in the meeting this past Friday.
You were right, the end is coming December twenty-seventh.
The day before my birthday.
Isn't that unfortunate timing?
I was looking forward to celebrating with you and Twice and everyone.
I suppose I don't deserve it.
Despite being criminals, you're all amazing people who have treated me better than anyone else ever has.
You've let me spread my wings and fly free.
Thank you for that.
The president of the commission asked-
No...
Ordered me to follow Shigaraki's orders, and spread the Liberation Front's belief via that one biography that was republished not too long ago.
I can't do this alone.
Remember how I was up last night highlighting sections?
I was hiding a secret message to give to Endeavor in the pages.
Of course I couldn't just highlight each necessary word with you looking over my shoulder-
So I can only pray Endeavor will figure out that it's the second word of every highlighted passage together that forms the message:

"Enemy is Liberation Front"

...

November sixteenth.

As the days press closer to the end of our time together, I grow more attached to you.
In the big battle- when it happens-
I plan on going straight to Twice to get him to surrender. Him and I are good friends, maybe he'll understand.
I just can't face you in battle.
Besides, Twice will be a big threat.
I have seen what his Doubles of you guys can do.
With him on your side- you could take us all out.
I can't have that.
I have to save them.
Oh yeah, tonight is karaoke again.
I can't make it though.
You seemed so sad when I told you.
But don't worry!
I'll be there for the next one, on December ninth.
It'll be my last party night with you.
I don't want it to be.
I'm sorry Dabi.
I'm going to stop writing now before my tears ruin the paper-
Besides, you're calling me to bed and I want to saver every last moment I have with you.
I just wish I could tell you the truth.
But you'll have to learn the hard way.

....

November twentieth.

Hey again.
I made a video while you were out today.
I burned it into a disk and I'm going to hide it before the doomsday event.
I just hope when you watch it, you-
Well I don't know what I want.
I don't expect you to forgive me.
That's fine.
I don't deserve forgiveness after betraying you.
True, I give the League real information and help out where I can because I really do love you guys, but at the end of the day- the commission owns me.
And I want to save the people.
The people like Aika Sato.
You remember her right?
I told you about her one time.
I want to see her again.
I keep hoping she's not dead.
That's not my point for writing this.
I love you, Dabi.
I really, truly do with all my heart.
And when you're going to be gone from life and hate me, I think I'm going to end it.
That way you never have to see me again.
It'll probably bring a smile to your face.
And all I ever wanted, was for you to be happy.

Even at the cost of my life.