10 HOURS AWAY | A Novel

chapter 24 - hold me now

10 Hours Away

I returned home to my apartment in which light was absent.

At that moment I cared less about turning the lights on, so I went straight to the living room to let my body fall onto the couch. Right then and there, I knew I was on the verge of crying.

When I left her office, the coarse language Mrs. Jones had used was stuck in my mind as a first-degree burn. But once I exited the building, and disappeared into the mass of pedestrians, I thought more and more about how she accused me of wasting her time – valuable time she could've spent with her dearest family. Punishing myself by repeating her altercation, resulted in her words becoming a second-degree burn.

Perhaps she was right. Perhaps my work had always been dreary. Perhaps Mrs. Clark was easy to please, and therefore satisfied with the most humdrum story-line I had written. Perhaps there was a part of me that knew I wasn't a good writer nor would ever be successful, and that's why I probably should be thankful for Mrs. Jones, since she was kind enough to give me the confirmation. Perhaps this was a sign. Perhaps I was supposed to quit.

I was discombobulated with myself. I buried my head in my hands and wondered if my entire stay would be like this. Because if it would be, I wanted to get out.

I was so, so fucking close to becoming confident; to be the writer I had dreamed to be. But she lit the fire and burned me thoroughly because of her choice of words.

What had I done to deserve someone like her? What had I done to doubt my ability more than before? What had I done to be stripped down and made fun of?

I was scared to let her take control of my feelings; my lack of self-esteem. There was a chance the second-degree burn would turn into a third-degree burn; making it impossible to recover from it all, making it impossible to ever believe in me – in my dream.

But then, the only source of light came from my phone; Noah had texted me.

Noah: I will be at your place in ten minutes x

Knowing Noah was about to show up, I had to force myself to get it all together and hide my current state. If he'd see me like this, he'd change his mind about me – If I were him, I'd change my mind about me. I wouldn't want to bother him with a story about how disastrous the meeting was.

Hurriedly, I erased the darkness with light, threw my bag in the bedroom, and rushed to the bathroom. I was glad I hadn't cried because, otherwise, my eyes would've been puffy and my make-up all over the place. For now, I only had to spray a tiny amount of perfume against my skin to be ready.

Mrs. Jones' words had negatively enraptured my mind, therefore I hadn't been able to think about the time Noah and I'd be spending together. This was the first time, after our conversation, we were hanging out while knowing the both of us wanted more than just friendship.

Once more, my phone buzzed. He was downstairs and asked me to open the door.

As I pressed the button to let him in, I also unlocked the front door.

While I waited for him to make an appearance, I checked my face once more in the mirror; to make sure I did look all right.

When Noah knocked before he joined me in my home, I made sure to hide the burns Mrs. Jones had caused. A genuine smile took control of my features, and it seemed like nothing had happened to me, and there was no worry in the world.

He came forward, placed a kiss on my cheek, and smiled happily.

"It's good to see you again, Liz." Noah said. His voice was beyond delicate, and I was grateful he greeted me so nicely – I needed it more than ever.