Rape - I'm not a victim I'm a SURVIVOR.

Ashleigh

Ashleigh Survivor's Story: My then boyfriend lets call him C and I were very close. I didn't really have a family at the time (my parents were always out of the country traveling. I was the more raised by a nanny only child type) and he made me feel like I truly had someone who cared about me. He started abusing me 6 months into our relationship, I was very popular but had way more Guy friends then girls. Well he would get jealous if I spent time with them or I wore skirts to school saying things like "You look like a slut are you trying to embarrass me? You're supposed to be my girlfriend." After this he would often slap me or push me into walls.

Well C knew I was a virgin and at first never pressured me, but then he started changing. One day I walked in on him cheating (I often stayed practically living with him at his family's home) I was devastated but he told me "baby I'm sorry I didn't want to cheat but I have needs and I didn't want to pressure you, but if I'm not getting it from here I have to get it from somewhere" I was in shock I didn't want him to cheat but I wasn't ready for sex.

One night we went to a party and he had been drinking I told him he had had enough and we went home. When we made it to his room he pushed me on the bed and started undoing my pants. I told him to stop he was drunk and I didn't want to do this but he just started undoing his pants. I cried and begged him not to do this he looked at me said "I love you its okay just relax" and then forced himself inside me. It was painful I thought I had been split in two, when it was over I got up washed off and feel asleep in the bathroom. The next morning he claimed he had no memory.

Things where okay for a while until he threw a party were his best friend tried to rape me, he walked in and thought I was cheating. He beat up his friend and sent everyone home. I sat in the corner crying he came in the room and beat me with his belt, he kicked me when I tried to crawl away, he even kicked me down his flight of stairs I was hospitalized and ended up having two broken ribs. I am trying to end things, the abuse is just getting worse both sexually and physically it is very hard because his family is like my only family and I don't want to loose that. I still hold on to thoughts of the good days it the only thing that keeps me going.