Hello, Goodbye - Modern Family [PAUZED]

S1 Ep24 : Family Portrait

''What was that?'' I said as I walked out of my room. ''Mom's trying to fix the step,'' Haley said. ''I'm guessing it didn't work?'' I said as I walked past Mom down the stairs. ''No. Only made it worse,'' Haley explained. ''Yes. Thank you, Haley. Go watch some television, you two,'' Mom said and Haley and I walked towards the living. '''Just wanna watch the game?'' Haley asked as she grabbed the remote. ''Yeah, sure,'' I answered. 

A few moments later Mom walked in with the phone in her hand. ''I'm gonna call your dad, and he's gonna tell me how to fix this,'' She explained. ''Oh, my God! It's Dad,'' Haley said as she pointed at the tv. And there he was, standing in the crowd. ''Where?'' Mom asked. ''Right there, behind Kobe,'' Haley said excitedly. (R.I.P, Kobe and Gianna. (Just wanna say)) ''Quick. Quick, tell me something to say that will make him freak out,'' Mom said as she dialled. ''Tell him I'm pregnant,'' Haley suggested. ''Not gonna do that,'' She said.

''Okay, here we go. How fun is this!'' Mom said as we saw Dad pick up his phone, only to not answer it. ''Well, that was pretty funny,'' I said and Haley chuckled. Mom didn't think so, tho. 

''Hannah, Haley, go put on your outfits,'' Mom yelled from downstairs so I did. The skirt fitted fine, just when I put on the shirt I felt like if I were to stretch my arms up above my head, I would Hulk-out.  ''Uhm, Mom?'' I asked. ''Yeah,'' She said as she entered my room. ''Oh, my God. Well, um, we've got no time to spare, just don't move your upper body, let's go,'' She said as she ran down the stairs. ''Watch out for the,'' I started to yell. ''Step,'' Mom groaned. ''Step,'' I finished as I carefully walked down the stairs.

''Hey. What's wrong with you?'' Grandpa asked as I entered. ''I can't move my upper body,'' I said as I continued to walk like an idiot. ''I think I have a shirt. Maybe you can wear it as a dress,'' Granpa said as he walked upstairs with his wine. ''Really, Dad? Wine and stairs together?'' Mom yelled after him. ''I found one, come on Hannah,'' I heard Granpa yell so I carefully walked upstairs, not trying to rip out of my shirt. 

''Well, that took you long enough. Here,'' Grandpa said as he tossed me a white shirt. I quickly, yet carefully removed my shirt and after that the skirt. I buttoned up the shirt and looked at Granpa. ''Hannah, really?'' Grandpa chuckled. Turns out, I had messed up the button pattern (I don't know what that's called. Button order?).  ''Come here,'' Grandpa said as he sat down on the bed. I walked towards him and he quickly fixed it up. ''Thanks, Grandpa. I love you,'' I said. ''I love you too, kiddo. Now, let's go downstairs before your Mom loses her mind,'' He said and we both walked downstairs. 

''Let's go outside,'' Mom said as we all walked out of the door. ''Watch this. Dad in his infinite wisdom, stained furniture today,'' Mom complained as we all manoeuvred around the stained closet? ''Okay, okay, we got it. Now we're gonna go out here,'' Mom explained but once she stood on the grass, the sprinklers started going off. ''Oh, my God,'' She exclaimed. 

''Why do you keep touching your face?'' I asked Haley. I'm getting a pimple,'' She groaned. ''It's all everyone is gonna see,'' She explained. ''That's not true. All they're gonna see is our beauty,'' I chuckled and pretty soon Haley joined in. Then the sprinklers turned off and everybody cheered. ''No! Stop celebrating! There's no time for that!'' Mom yelled. ''Come on people. let's get out here,'' Mom said as we all walked onto the grass. ''Hannah, Alex, Haley. I need you to unwrap your brother,'' She said. ''All of us?'' Haley complained. ''Yes, all of you,'' Mom yelled. 

''I need the Dunphys over on this side. Dad, you're in the middle. Mitchell, Cam, Lily on this end,'' Mom commanded everyone. 

''Okay everybody, look over here,'' The photographer said. Then I heard Dad say: ''I didn't do anything. She kissed me.'' Which made me turn around. Just like the rest of the Dunphy kids. ''What? Who kissed you?'' Mom asked the question that was all burning our minds. ''Gloria,'' Dad said. ''What?'' Grandpa joined in on the conversation. ''It was the kiss cam,'' Gloria explained. ''Why did you kiss Cam? Grand asked. ''No, I kissed Phil. He told me I had to,'' Gloria explained herself. ''No, no,'' Dad quickly said. ''Okay. Hang on a second. Was this before or after you ignored the phone call from your wife?'' Mom asked. ''You saw that too?'' Dad asked, clearly panicking. ''Could we please just take the damn picture?'' Grandpa took control of the conversation. 

''Okay, everybody. One more time,'' The photographer. ''Just so you know, I am angry with you,'' Uncle Cam said. ''I knew it,'' Uncle Mitch yelled and they got in a fight.

''Okay, stop it! Stop it! Everyone, listen. This took me forever to put together,  so I don't really care who kissed who and who's got a pimple and whos's wearing a ridiculously inappropriate dress. We are gonna get together like a normal family for one-tenth of a second and do this right now!'' Mom said as she put everyone back in place. 

''Ah, this is ridiculous. You're both uptight about everything. You didn't want to go to a wedding with him because you didn't want to make small talk? That's how I met Gloria. Do you remember the first thing I said to you?'' Grandpa asked her. ''I like chocolate and fruit, but not together,'' Gloria said. ''You couldn't come up with that, Ivy League,'' Dad said to Uncle Mitchell. ''And you. You would be a lot happier if you weren't so obsessed with everything being perfect. Look at us here all in with. What are we, a cricket team?'' Grandpa asked. ''News flash. Life's not perfect. Claire. Now calm the hell down,'' He added. ''Okay, Dad. That's great, and that's really easy to say for you. But do you think I like being like this? No, I don't. If you have some quick-and-easy fix, why don't you just give it to me right now,'' Mom kinda yelled.

Then I looked at the photographer, he had the most confusing look at his face, which was very funny, to be honest.

 Then, I saw Grandpa grabbing a hand full of mud and smear it onto Mom's white shirt. ''I got this, baby,'' Dad said as he also grabbed a handful of mud and he threw it at Grandpa. ''What did you do? Now two people are dirty,'' Mom said panicking. ''Well, three, Uncle Mitch said as he smeared mud onto Uncle Cam's shirt. ''Okay, you know what,'' Uncle Cam said as he grabbed the mud off his shirt and smeared it onto Uncle Mitch. ''That's for kitschy,'' He said. I looked at Luke and we both yelled: ''Mud fight!" And we both started throwing mud. As everyone ran and threw mud the photographer's voice came through. ''Excuse me. Are we still doing this?'' He asked, slightly irritated. ''No. No, we're not,'' Mom said, I was kinda sad until she smeared a big hand of mud onto Gloria's dress. ''Now we are,'' She said and a big smile entered my face.

''Say cheese!'' Gloria yelled and we all huddled together for the photo. 

The end photo was great. I sat on the ground in front of Uncle Mitch, while he put bunny ears behind my head. Gloria and Alex were standing together with Dad behind them. Grandpa had his hands on the shoulders of Mom and Dad. Next to Dad stood Haley, Cameron and Lily. And in front of those three, Manny and Luke were standing in a weird pose together.

It's truly an awesome picture.