Ash [Prince Zuko - Book Two]

❃Chapter Seventeen❃

Asake felt bad about lying to Iroh, the only person who truly cared about her wellbeing. Before she left, she told him that she would go see a doctor about her arm, to see if they could somehow fix it. However, she didn't grab any money because she wasn't going to go see a doctor or a healer or anything like that. She didn't have any money of her own, and she didn't want to waste Iroh and Zuko's money. It would only be a waste, especially since it was on her. She didn't deserve it. She would never deserve it for as long as she lived.

She had been wandering around the streets of Ba Sing Se for a few hours now, trying to waste as much time as possible. The city was so big and there were so many people that she hid in the crowds just fine without being seen by absolutely anyone. She was invisible, it seemed like. She didn't want to be found by anyone, let alone Zuko. He hadn't spoken to her since they argued about her date with Jet. He barely spared her a glance in a few days. That really hurt her, more than she cared to admit.

She didn't think he knew he was hurting her, though. He seemed fine treating her like that. He went about his day with the same face on -- anger. He hadn't really changed since she left during the storm. He was still angry. He was still filled with rage. What he was angry at, she didn't know. Maybe he was angry at her for burning the bridge between the two of them. She would've been angry, too, if he left her a note before disappearing into the night. Especially since she left when he needed her most. But he had Iroh, and that was all he needed. He didn't need her any more than she needed air.

Asake knew she should've stopped thinking harmful things, but she didn't want to. She wanted to dwell in her depression, to let the flames of her past finally catch up to her. She finally understood why Zuko acted like he did back on the ship when they were trying to find the Avatar. She thought it was impossible for someone so young to be so sad. She thought wrong. She knew now how low a person could go, whether they were young or old, whether they were a girl or a boy. She was living proof that a person this young could be this sad.

As much as she hated the power he had over her, she just wished Zuko could find the highs again in this wretched life. She didn't think she could make it, not with how she was spiraling down and down toward the inferno. Her nightmares were becoming more and more frequent. More and more real. They were always vivid, and she would always wake up screaming. Iroh had come to check on her more than once, but Zuko never stepped into her room to comfort her. She wanted just once time to be secured in his arms, to feel safe for once in her life. He wouldn't do that for her.

Asake stumbled against her own feet. It was becoming hard to stand with those thoughts weighing her down. Her thoughts burned into her physical body, and it showed now. She had dark circles under her eyes, but hadn't she always had that? Maybe she was destined to have a short life filled with pain. Maybe if she didn't live past tomorrow, she would inspire Zuko to get out of the depression and live his life to the fullest. She would be a martyr to him.

"Lychee!"

Her head snapped up at the sound of her nickname. The only person who knew that name was Jet, but she didn't want to see him right now. She still had feelings for him, even if their date was horrible. He stood across the street from her, holding his arm up to her in a wave. The signature piece of wheat was in his mouth again, and his eyes lit up when he noticed her looking at him. Two people flanked him on either side. 

"Hey," she said when he made it to her. He didn't seem to notice how bad she looked. Could she really put on a great facade? Or did he truly not care about her? She wasn't sure.

"Where have you been?" he asked.

Her eyes flicked toward the other two. Though she trusted Jet, she didn't trust these two people that she saw with him regularly. He never really mentioned them much, and she didn't know what they would do if they got to know her. "I've been wandering."