Shadows in the Trees: Book 1

Chapter 59

Vess looked away. She took a handful of soil, letting it slip back through her fingers. "I miss the Forest. I miss living amongst the trees, not in stone walls. I miss my people." 

"I haven't thought about my people hardly at all since I left." 

"But are you not to be their leader?" 

"It's different," Julian said defensively. "You would understand, if you had to be king." 

"You are right. I am not a. . .king," Vess said. "Yet I feel that the fate of my kind rests in my hands. And I am failing them."

"It's a lot of pressure," he said softly.

"It is." 

"At least you have these incredible powers. I have nothing, and I'm expected to lead an entire empire as though I know what I'm doing." 

"My 'power' might as well be useless." 

Julian frowned. "What do you mean? I watched you level an entire bog like it was nothing." 

"Exactly. I took away life, like it was nothing," Vess spat. "I am a monster."

"You also saved our lives," Julian said. "Besides, I've never heard of a monster having a crisis of conscience." 

She shook her head. "My curse, it feels like this darkness trapped inside me. It is ugly. I have spent my life fighting it, and now I have to somehow find a way to use it without hurting any of our allies. What if I try to use it and I just. . .destroy everything?" 

He paled. "Please don't do that." 

Vess laughed darkly. "I do not wish to." She sighed. "Ro was supposed to balance me. Prevent me from being destructive by creating." She shook her head. "She was not supposed to be the destructive one." 

He thought for a long time, playing with the soft soil in front of him. A passage from the scriptures came to him. 

"You know, the One God says that death is peaceful. Beautiful, even, because we get to be with Him again." 

"Was your mother's death beautiful?" 

Julian flinched. "Not for me, no. And I suppose not for her -- she was very sick." He sighed. "I didn't want her to die, but the plague put her in so much pain. Once she passed, she wasn't in pain anymore. She had gone home to the One God. She was at peace." 

"I do not understand." 

He sighed. "Her death was not beautiful. It was very, very painful for me and my family. But it wasn't necessarily. . .ugly." He shuddered. "Those half-alive soldiers? They were ugly. They deserve peace. And you can give them that." 

"I never thought of it that way," she said, smoothing over the soil she had disturbed. She searched his face. He flushed at the scrutiny. "You know, you are much more intelligent than you appear to be." 

"Uh. . .thank you, I think?"

"You are wel- "

A horn in the distance cut her off. 

"That is their signal for war," Vess said, standing quickly. Julian scrambled up after her. "Don your armor, Julian. We will see battle once more." 

When Julian returned to the ramparts in his armor, carrying his bow, Vess was nowhere in sight. He leaned over the wall, searching for her in the swarm of soldiers below, ready to pour out of the gates. 

"Who are you looking for?" Rhiannon asked, startling him. He turned to find her in her armor and paint once more. The kohl lining her eyes accentuated the purple shadows beneath them, giving her a ghoulish look.