Damaged - N.H.

4

Niall had officially been gone for six weeks today. Normally I would be pretty upset, but I was starting to feel relief. Only one more week until I was flying out to be with Niall for seven days. I couldn't wait. I was so ready to be with him again.

I fluttered around the bedroom, back and forth from the closet to my suitcase as I packed what I could. I still had a whole week to go, but I needed to do something in preparation for my trip. Plus, I was trying to keep myself occupied as I waited for Niall to call me. It was only a few minutes until that familiar FaceTime tune started ringing. I darted to the bed, jumping on it and pulling the covers over me as I answered.

"Hey, beautiful." Niall grinned.

"Hey yourself." I smiled. "How's Sweden?"

"Good so far. Only arrived a few hours ago." He replied.

I nodded. Niall had been in the states the last month and a half doing promotions for his next album. Today was the first official day he was out of the country. He would do another six weeks of promotions then his European tour would start. Something about him being even further away made me a little more nervous.

"I miss you." I said.

"I miss you too. I can't wait to see you next week." He smiled.

"I've never been to Amsterdam. I'm excited to see it." I replied.

"It's great. You'll love it."

I smiled softly as I lay in bed, watching him on the screen. He was clearly in his hotel room, laying on his bed as well, propped up against the headboard.

"How's the wedding planning? Did you pick a venue yet?" He asked, changing the subject.

I shook my head. "Not yet."

"Well...I want you to be happy with what you choose." He stated.

"I wish you were here to do this with me." I muttered.

"Aren't Stacy and Liz helping you?"

"Yeah." I replied. "...But they aren't the groom."

I didn't have the heart to tell him that Stacy and Liz had their own lives to manage and were becoming less and less available by the week. I wasn't mad. It was understandable.

"I'm sorry, love. You know I'll help you as much as I can. Bring whatever you want me to look at when you come next week." He offered.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine." I mumbled.

"Are you sure? You look a little pale. Are you feeling okay?" He pressed.

"Just tired. I haven't slept well lately." I shrugged.

"Why not?"

I didn't want to give him the real answer. Telling him I was having nightmares about Chad would only make him worry and I couldn't put that on him. I could handle it myself. However, I didn't want to lie to him either, so I gave him a sort of...half truth, I guess you could call it.

"I guess I'm just not used to being alone at night. It puts me on edge a bit."

The look on his face broke my heart. I knew he was upset because there is nothing he can do about it. And we still have a long way to go. The tour was just beginning.

"I'm okay, though. I set the alarm system every night and it makes me feel better." I added.

He forced a small smile and nodded. "I'm sorry. I wish I could be there."