Fruitloops | ✓

s e v e n t e e n

Chapter 17: I'm utterly terrified of falling in love

To say that the talk with Zak went well was a lie. As I explained how I felt about Vince, he'd be clenching his fists and unclenching, with fiery smoke coming out his nose and ears.

You could tell he was holding himself back to be all over-protective and go give Vince a talk on how blah blah blah. Which of course would lead to another awkward scenerio where Vince actually knows how I feel about him.

The guilt was eating me up alive though, not being able to say those three words back to Vince even if he said it.

Would he blame me? Who am I kidding, of course he did. That's how I would feel anyways. But the fact that Vince shared the same feelings for me made fireworks explode in my heart and butterflies to flutter their wings in my stomach.

Though, he'll never know that.

And he probably hates with every fibre in his body now.

I sat in bed with Summer blabbering about how we should redecorate her room. I thought her room was fine the way it was, but she said that the room should at least have some parts of me.

Her wardrobe was huge and we shared the same-sized clothes, thus we combined them altogether. Besides, most of my band tee-shirts and tank tops were her favorites as well.

He was thinking of getting a new chair and possibly another desk, along with a bean bag or a small couch. Her room was huge, but she didn't occupy much.

I've yet to talk to Vince. Everytime I say hi - with a lot of courage - he'd just walk past me like I was invisible.

I just wished we got the chance to talk it out. For him to understand how I feel about happy endings and love.

Perhaps he should know that - that I'm utterly terrified of falling in love.

Even though I think I already have.

---

A few days later when it was only Vince and I at the Frerri's, things got a little bit awkward. Summer was out with her friends Britney and Zoe, which I've met just for a brief second. They seemed like really cool people and I knew why Summer befriended them. Zak was of course at work. I, on the other hand was making myself a sandwhich when Vince came into the kitchen.

I pondered on smiling at him, but decided not to since we weren't on speeching terms and I'd just be disappointed when he doesn't smile back.

However, I did suck in a breath and ask, "do you want one?" I gestured towards the almost done sandwhich, ready to have my teeth sink into the soft, moist bread.

When I was greeted with silence, I sighed audibly and shook my head, unable to take his cold facade any longer.

"What's your problem?" I snapped.

Finally, after like a million years, he looks up at me with a look that was along the lines of "you're unbelievable" or "are you freaking serious right now?".

My arms were crossed over my chest and my socked, right foot was tapping on the marble floor. After so long in the Frerri's, I've come to the conclusion that their floors would never, ever be warm, thus I turned to pink fluffy socks.

"What's my problem?" he asked, shock leaking through his words and he arched an eyebrow, "what's your problem?"

I mimicked his actions and arched my right eyebrow, as if a mirror image, and said, "I don't have a problem. You're the one that's been acting as if I was invisible."

"Oh so it's my fault now?" he hissed, standing up front the island stool he had sat on not long ago.

"I didn't say tha-"

"Yeah you didn't. But you're thinking it, right?" His voice was now filled with anger and venom, which caused goosebumps to form on my skin. Vince angry was something I didn't like. At all.

"Not at all," I looked at him and raised my hands up in the air in frustration and exasperation, "it's my fault. I know it is."

"Why can't you say it?" his voice softened, and his eyes roamed around my facial expression as if he could get the truth out of it. I knew exactly what he was talking about, and I looked down and sighed.

"Because I can't count on it," I finally spoke the truth.

It felt as though a weight that had been on my shoulder forever was finally lifted off, but it didn't stop the bile from going back up my throat and forming a lump there.

"Because it doesn't exist. Because this is real life. Because reality's bullshit. And because everyone gets tired of someone and will throw them away someday, I can't take that," I croaked. My voice cracked at the few last words, and my vision started to blur.

Lights now became little dots like stars, and Vince became a little blurry as I felt a tear drip down my cheek and chin, before hanging off my chin and falling to the ground. If this were a cartoon, they'd exaggerate on the teardrop and make it sound as if a giant's tear has fallen.

Vince looked at me with soft eyes and tilted his head.

"You think I'll just... just throw you away?" he asked.

"Possibly. People get tired of other people, and I don't want to be stranded one day all alone," I sobbed, using the sleeve of my jumper to profusely wipe away the tears.

Vince walked towards me and without another word wrapped his arms around me. I snuggled into his chest with my small arounds around his wide waist, grabbing onto him for dear life.

I needed him by my side. I needed him with me.

And that scared me more than Ju-On.

Was it possible for someone to be so reliant on someone else that they liked so much? Was it possible for me to need Vince like a pillar-of-support?

"Give it a chance, Lyss. I promise it'll be okay. We'll be okay," he murmured into my hair to comfort me, but somehow it didn't help.

"Promises were m-meant to be broken," I croaked into his shirt that now had a blotch of dark grey.

"Not pinky promises," I could feel him smiling against my ear, and he pulled away to my dismay, before reaching out his pinky.

I looked at his pinky then back to him, then his pinky then back at him for countless times. Finally, I take a deep breath and shook his pinky.

Let's just hope he doesn't break this pinky promise, because he'd be breaking more than one thing.

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Author's Note: i tried really hard to get this chapter up and going, so i really hope you like it. there wasn't much in this except lots of how Lyss feels and some Lyss-Vince moments. by the way, i'm aiming to reach 20 chapters so that's real soon!

so what did you guys think? tell me in the comments! x