Chapter 46: Zooey

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Zooey thrusted the coffee cup she had in her hand out to Seth as he ducked his head into her car. As she looked over at him, she was reminded of the way his eyes would be squinted and struggling to open in the mornings when they would drive to school together all those years ago. His eyes were the same now as they had been then, though this time when he accepted Zooey's coffee, he did it with a hint of hesitance. He stared at it for a moment as he settled into the passenger seat, glancing at her.

"Two sugars and a spot of milk," Zooey reassured him.

He stared at her for another beat before taking the coffee from her and taking a sip. His eyes immediately closed, and it seemed as though he entered an almost euphoric state as he sighed with relief.

"You remember how I like my coffee," he commented flatly, not looking over at her but instead focusing solely on his hands intertwining around the warm beverage.

"I guess I'm some sort of savant for remembering how everyone takes their coffee," Zooey said with a shrug. "Guess it makes sense why I decided to apply to Chester's way back" –

"It's seven a.m.," Seth interjected. His tone was surprisingly sharp and to the point. "There better be a reason for why you called "flamingos" this early, and it better not be just to share a coffee."

"Wow," Zooey exclaimed, feeling a bit taken aback. "I forgot how irritable you are in the mornings."

Seth didn't seem the slightest bit amused by Zooey's gentle teasing. She wanted to blame it all on the fact it was so early in the morning and that Seth was just grumpy, but he seemed more than just irritated about the earliness of her call. The fact of the matter was that she was still in a state of shock with what she had come to find existing on the front steps of Aunt Nova's duplex that morning. Lila and Hunter together, Lila and Hunter together and kissing. She shouldn't have felt betrayed, but she did. At one point these two people had been her best friends, one of whom she had real and honest feelings for. Now, there they were, together on the front steps that early morning, blissfully unaware of anyone observing their actions.

"Not in the mood for playful jokes this morning, I see," Zooey muttered, fidgeting with the lid of her own coffee cup.

"Zooey," Seth said sternly, but he caught himself, retracting the tone he had and responding more softly, "look, you can't just call that word and then have me show up here and proceed to make a joke of it. I was seriously worried about you."

Zooey felt a sharp pang of guilt in her stomach to this comment. She wasn't intending to take away from the seriousness of her call to him, she was just hoping to make things a tad lighter. Zooey tended to cope with stress or pain in this way. She would shut down and make jokes. It was far easier that way, it made people less concerned about her. She had done exactly that when she had first joined her sorority in college and taken part in the many sisterly bonding ceremonies they seemed to have. She would share parts of herself, but not too much, and even if she did, she could just as easily flash a smile and make a joke about it. It would reassure people that she was really fine. It would remove that spotlight again, the one she had been trying to avoid being under since she was just a lowly, soon-to-be high school freshman trying to have her once-in-a-lifetime, picture-perfect, first kiss.

It wasn't just guilt she felt looking into Seth's frustrated, but concerned eyes, it was panic. He still cared about her, even now, even after everything she had done. It terrified her to have someone still care enough about her to get up at the crack of dawn to talk to her, especially someone like Seth who owed her nothing. Really, she owed him everything, especially an explanation, but that was a different conversation, a different time other than now.

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