Because of that Night (Book 2)

Chapter 23: Lila

There were few times Lila had seen Zooey in such a state as the one she was in the morning Abigail Bates walked into Chester's Coffee. Not even when Zooey had found out her parents were officially separating did she react in such a panic. As Lila had pulled her out of the coffee shop, Zooey's breathing hitched in deep, distressed beats. Lila had gripped on to both of Zooey's wrists, pleading with her to just look at Lila, to acknowledge that she was listening.

Lila had dealt with these types of panic attacks before in herself. She recalled Hunter's face looking at her, his gray eyes wide with alertness as he would urge her to follow his breathing. Breathe in, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Hold, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Breathe out, two, three, four, five, six, seven. She felt a sense of calmness in herself in that moment with Zooey by simply thinking of Hunter's face in her own moments of turmoil. The way his eyes focused solely on hers, how he would grip her hands tightly, squeezing as they held their breathing together. She felt instantly guilty to be thinking of this as she stood in front of Zooey who it seemed was going through what had to have felt like an absolute nightmare.

Lila wouldn't ask questions in that moment. The focus had to remain on slowing Zooey's breathing. She was useless without this. Zooey's eyes finally connected with Lila's, and they breathed together, as Lila called out the numbers. Breathe in, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Hold, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Breathe out, two, three, four, five, six, seven. They went through it several times, even as Lila watched silent tears fall from Zooey's eyes once again. They descended down into the sand, neither of them concerned about its dampness from the morning tide. They rested their backs against the concrete wall that prevented the shore from spilling out farther to land, Zooey with her hands laying lifeless in her lap as Lila wrapped her arms around her own bent knees, pulling them tightly to her chest.

Neither one of them said a word for a while as they listened and watched the waves crash several yards away from them. The morning fog was beginning to burn off from the sun that was trying its best to peek through the clouds. It made the air heavier with mist, but Lila liked the way it felt entering her lungs. It felt cold and sharp, waking up her senses.

Zooey's voice cut through the white noise as she pulled herself back up to a standing position. "We can go back now," she announced, wiping sand off of her legs. "Thank you for sitting with me and getting me out of there, but I need to finish my shift, so..." Her voice trailed off then, and she crossed her arms, only glancing at Lila briefly before looking back at the waves.

Lila's brow furrowed and she pulled herself up from the sand as well, facing Zooey and mirroring her crossed-arm stance. She shivered lightly from the cold breeze coming off the ocean shore. If this were five years ago, Lila would have no trouble arguing this decision by Zooey. No, Lila would have responded. You're not going back in there until we talk about this. Now, Lila didn't feel she had the authority to say something like that. She didn't have any ownership over Zooey's business anymore. When they were friends, sure, Lila would feel her emotions were valid in being hurt that Zooey didn't want to talk to her about them, but now there was no validity. Zooey had five years' worth of experiences Lila knew little to nothing about. And Zooey had every right to keep it that way.

Lila pushed her hair behind her ear, deciding on a safer route that still showed concern, but didn't push boundaries as much. She looked at Zooey with confusion and concern, clearing her throat quietly. "Are you sure? If you want to talk about it" –

"I don't," Zooey quickly interjected. Lila was taken aback by Zooey's sudden sharp interruption. It felt as sharp and cold as the air Lila brought in and out of her lungs from this foggy and chilly Borne morning.

Lila had dealt with this type of reaction several times before, not just in Zooey, but in Michael and even in Hunter. She was beginning to learn when it was best to press on and when it wasn't, but sometimes she could backpedal on her lessons.