Chapter 22: Zooey

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It was past ten o'clock by the time Zooey made it back to her family's apartment complex that night. Her conversation with Seth had really helped to give Zooey some solace. Though it didn't change her current position, it made her confident that she had people in her corner she could count on if things really went to hell. And within moments of stepping back inside her home, it was clear that they were beginning to already.

"That's been part of your scheme this whole time hasn't it, getting her on your side?" Zooey heard her mother say as she gently opened the front door and slipped in quietly.

"Scheme? Scheme? Bethany, that's completely insane and you know it," her father snapped back. They were arguing in the kitchen just out of sight from where Zooey stood at the front entryway to their apartment door.

"Oh, that's nice Jack, so I'm insane now, too? Is that what you're going to tell our daughter next about me?" her mother accused.

"You're impossible. I'm done with this conversation tonight, I'm exhausted. I'm going to bed."

"You think I'm really going to let you sleep in that room with me now that I know you completely threw me under the bus to our daughter? Now who's the one who's insane here?"

Zooey heard movement then and turned back to the front door, pretending to close it again to fake just having gotten back home.

"Zooey," her mother's voice said, and Zooey turned to where her mother stood before her. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and it was one of the few times she had seen her mother without makeup on.

It was a rare occurrence for Bethany Cartwright. She valued looking pristine, even when it was just for her family. Her mother had always told Zooey when she was growing up that it was important to look good for those you loved.

"Just because they would never judge you, doesn't mean you shouldn't put the effort in," her mother had said once when Zooey could not have been more than eight. She had been watching her mother slowly painting her lipstick across her top and bottom lip. Zooey was tantalized by the way her mother would rub her lips together gently, puckering and dabbing so that the lines were just right on the outline of her lip line. "How do you think I got your daddy to notice me in the first place?" She had snapped the cap of her lipstick shut then, meeting Zooey's eyes in the vanity mirror where Zooey stood just behind her. "Every day is an opportunity to meet someone who could change your life. Do you really want to play the risk of not looking your absolute best for something as life-altering as that?"

It was something that Zooey had always remembered, and her mother stuck to that ideal. Every morning, bright and early, her face would be done up and her hair would hang in gentle, gorgeous, blond curls. Every evening, Zooey would leave her that way. She was so used to it she had forgotten that her mother even had the ability to look anything but put together. The only times she didn't were when something serious had happened. When Zooey's grandmother died, her mother had not taken the time to put on her regular face. When Mrs. Cooper had died, it had been the same. Zooey had thought that the only occasions where her mother would not wear her pristine mask was in the case of pure tragedy, in the case of incredible loss.

Her parents had fought for a while now, but never had a fight led to her mother losing the face she always wore. She always worked to look her best for Zooey's father. It was one of the ways Zooey could tell how much her mother still cared for him, how much she still loved him to put the effort in of wearing all of that gunk on her face that warped her into the person she wanted to be, the person she believed everyone felt was her best self. It was jarring, almost fear inducing to see her mother in this light. Not because her mother was ugly by any means. In fact, Zooey thought that her mother looked beautiful in these moments of vulnerability when she did not have the wall of cosmetics to separate her from her daughters, from everyone for that matter. It was what this appearance meant that terrified Zooey. It had always meant loss, death, tragedy. It couldn't be over. Her father had told her, promised her that they were trying.

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