Chapter 10 - Bridges And Barriers

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The last day of term.


"Orah I need to ask Professor Snape something after class so you go on ahead and I'll meet you at lunch," Geneva whispered as they tidied up their things in the lab.

She had been waiting all lesson impatiently for the moment she had planned. Before the last person left the room, Snape had sat down in his chair behind his desk and began writing fluidly over parchment. He did not look up, but Geneva knew he was aware of her presence.

"Professor Snape...?"

"What is it, Azur?"

Geneva reached into her bag and pulled out a small, neatly wrapped parcel in brown paper and string.

"I know you're busy," she began, approaching his desk with it. "But I just wanted to give you this." She placed it down on the corner on top of a stack of books.

He looked up, quill in his hand, interrupted and waiting to resume.

"What's this?" he inquired, surveying the parcel as though it were foreign artefact.

"It's a Christmas present, sir. From me."

"This is quite...unnecessary."

"Maybe, sir, but I wanted to." There was a short pause. "Besides, it's more like a thanks, you know."

She could have sworn one of his furrowed brows rose slightly.

His eyes drifted back to the parchment he was writing on, as though he were bored with her conversation. Alas, he responded.

"No need."

"Will you accept it...?" she asked gently.

His mouth opened, pausing before anything came out, as though words were an effort.

"Very well."

The silence was so loud she could hear the scratching of his quill. Geneva ached with a million and one things she wanted to say, but his demeanour fizzled them all. Afraid to tarnish his acceptance, she picked up her bag, fastened the buckle and turned to him. How could he ignore what had happened between them. He was almost as desperate as her. Did he do this with other students too? Was there someone else now? Was that why he was ignoring her? He was still writing. What more was there to say? He was clearly uninterested. She scolded herself for appearing so fucking desperate at least on the outside, which now made her look the fool. Should have thrown the fucking gift at his head.

"Well...Merry Christmas Professor. Have a good holiday," she drawled, with sarcasm. I hope it's bloody awful. Arrogant asshole.

A part of her sunk as she turned and walked in the opposite direction, wishing he'd given her a tiny bit more, a kind word or a Yule tide greeting she could have hung on to over the holidays, or if she were to be blunt, a fuck on his desk. Nothing.

"Azur..." he called. She'd walked but three steps before she turned around. Snape had risen from his chair and was now standing behind his desk. The two of them stood just a few meters apart, holding a gaze.

He opened his mouth to speak, his eyes searching for answer as though it was written in front of him somewhere. "Forgive my brash response. A Christmas gift was quite...unexpected. I'm not accustomed to such things."

Warmth poured into Geneva's heart and her harsh expression melted into a smile. "You're very welcome Professor. What are your plans for the holidays?"

And just like that, the moment had gone. He sat down, immediately and resumed his work. Clearly she'd asked too much.

"I don't think you ought to concern yourself with how I spend my time," he mumbled in coldness.

"I'm sorry, sir, it was just...friendly conversation."

"I am your Professor and you are my student," he informed her.

Talking to him was such a rollercoaster of emotions. His final response to her present had given her a high, and then all at once she was pushed back again. His latter comment was filled with the utmost irony, and Geneva found it hard to resist a response. It boiled her blood.

"Well it certainly hasn't felt much like I'm just your student...Professor," she added with emphasis on her last word. She feared his reply, but had been wanting desperately to speak these words for weeks. "What about that?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know what I'm talking about. What happened, and now you can't even answer a simple question about the holidays? I was just being friendly."

"Simple for you perhaps."

His black eyes became empty vessels beneath his increasingly furrowing brows. Geneva was stuck for words. She knew if this were Orah, she would just ask if she wanted to talk about it, but she knew that in this case, it was absolutely off the agenda - a private matter he was not willing to share.

"Well...I'm sorry to hear that," she spoke gently, her tone dropping a little, remembering where she was. "I do hope you find some happiness during this holiday, Professor. Perhaps a little time to yourself, even if it's with a good book." She thought of how she had seen him flick through one in Hogsmeade, engrossed.

Geneva noticed how his frown softened a little with her words.

"Perhaps," he said solemnly.

Geneva adjusted her bag onto her shoulder. There was so much more she wanted to say but couldn't fathom the words, and so she left.

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