Honey | Cake |

Eighteen

"Calum!" Luke screamed when seeing the pissed off guy standing by the window. He had saw him pull up.

He was holding up Callie. Luke's eyes darted to the pink collar she was wearing, one he had never noticed that Ashton had put on her.

"What? Did you think I was really that stupid? Check your cats collar, why the fuck does she have a name tag with the name "Ash?" Ashton called and told me everything. Everything."

"Oh god, Calum please-"

"No! I don't want to hear any fucking excues, Luke! You lied directly to my face! I can't even trust you with a fucking cat! "

Calum's voice was deep but cracking at the end of each sentence. Showing how hurt he was.

"God no! Calum, don't leave me! Please, please, please.." Luke literally begged, hugging him. Calum pushed him off, putting the cat into his arms while doing so.

"Get away from me. You make me sick." Calum spat at him. This is the meanest Calum has ever been to Luke. He's hardly ever rose his voice at him.

"I just ended it all! You have to believe me!" Luke desperately cried out.

"Believe you? Believe you? That's all I ever did! I believed all your words. I believed you when you said you weren't cheating on me and I believed you when you said you weren't lying either! I believed you when you 'named' our cat after me! Why did you do this to me in the first place, Luke? Why cheat on me? What, I'm not good enough? Why do I deserve this? What did I fucking do wrong?!"

Luke couldn't reply, he couldn't get any words out.

"I hope you know that I didn't believe I had a heart until I met you. I don't give a shit about anybody else other than you. You fucked it all up now! I always said how much I love you! I always tried being the best boyfriend possible even though its not in my nature. I got so much shit about dating you from everyone. Everyone including Michael, my best friend who I'm not going to cheat on you with, had said that I wasn't good enough for you, that I'd break your heart.. But they were wrong, you ended up breaking mine.. You don't deserve me."

"Calum.. I know."

"But then here comes the fucked up part. You're the only thing keeping me sane. I can't live with you, literally."

"I know.."

Calum closed his eyes to try and even out his breathing before he has a panic attack. Something he struggles with when put under a lot of pressure. When his breathing wouldn't even out, he knew it was coming.

He dropped down to the floor and nearly started hyperventilating. Luke dropped beside him and used his old technique to calm him down.

But right now, Luke was his trigger. This has never happened before so he only slightly pushed Luke away and got out of the room.

It hurt like hell to do that.

Calum was trying his hardest, closing his eyes and focusing on his breathing pattern. He successfully got himself to calm it down but he was shaking when yelling out "Why? Why? Why?"

Luke heard it all. He was sitting across from the door, with his forehead resting on top of his knees. Tears streaming out of his red, icy blue eyes.

"Why? Why? Why?" He asked himself.

"Calum's right. I don't deserve him. He deserves so much better than me. I'm a horrible person. Do even deserve to live?" Luke's thoughts were scaring him now but they couldn't stop. Then he answered his own question.