Enemies with benefits

Chapter 14: Better as...

It was an agonisingly long half an hour until Sophie was finally forced to concede defeat and go home. Her mom called her so she had to leave. She gave both the boys a hug before she left but Ezra's was slightly longer. Then there were two. They only had twenty minutes left of detention together so Colby had to work quickly.

"Do you like her?" Colby surprised himself by asking that first but it was the question that weighed on him the most.

Ezra looked quizzically at Colby before answering. "She's a nice girl, pretty too." Colby huffed at that. Sophie was pretty but Ezra didn't have to say it. Plus, she may not be as pretty on the inside if the photo revelation was anything to go by.... was he becoming a mean person?

He shook the thoughts from his head, he had a goal to achieve. With a deep breath, he tried to do something he really struggled with, expressing his emotions.

"I- I don't like the way things are between us right now." Colby said, Ezra turned towards him and gave Colby his full attention. "Like, before we had our fight, I thought we were getting really close. I mean physically we got really close but emotionally as well- I guess." He really did hate having to totally open up like this, he was hoping that Ezra would jump in and take over but he was just intently listening to Colby's every word. "I miss that and I'm sorry about what I said."

"Did you mean the things you said during the fight?" Ezra asked. His poker face was impenetrable, Colby had no idea what was bubbling beneath his calm demeanour.

"Some things. Everything did kind of start because I wanted to get back at you but after a while I completely forgot about that and just ended up enjoying the time I spent with you." Embarrassment was the only thing Colby felt at that moment but he pushed through. "What we had- it did mean a lot to me and I liked it... which is why I really hate the way we are now."

Ezra didn't respond immediately. "Are you still angry that I slept with Joanna?"

"I was. I was for a long time- but not anymore. You kind of forced my eyes open on the fact that she was a terrible girlfriend and I was putting up with it." Colby tried to laugh to lighten the mood but it didn't work.

"You could do better." Ezra whispered. Colby wasn't sure if he had meant to say it out loud.

"So could you." Colby replied. Ezra looked shocked at that answer, he then swiftly regained his neutral composure.

"With Joanna." Ezra began. "I am sorry about what I did. It's not much of an excuse but I had a lot of... stuff going on back then that I was struggling to deal with and-," he paused and looked Colby dead in the eyes, "-and some really difficult feelings that, at the time, I didn't know what to do with. I thought that I was confused and wanted to sleep with Joanna so then I did... and in a way that did make me understand my feelings better but not in the way I had hoped."

Colby wanted Ezra to go on but he stopped, clearly not wanting to talk about it anymore.

"So, are we good now?" Colby asked. Ezra nodded.

Fantastic! This had worked way better than Colby had expected. It didn't take long for Colby to quickly get wrapped up in his joy and forget to establish with Ezra what kind of relationship the two were going to have from that point forward. He didn't even think to ask, which was why he was so shocked that when he finally kissed Ezra; he was pushed away.

Well he didn't push Colby away at first. Colby had moved in for the kiss quickly and without warning, as soon as their lips connected, Ezra kissed him back. There was no silly fight for dominance or competition between them, it was just a great kiss. Until Ezra's body began to stiffen under Colby's touch and he shoved the horny boy away.

What? Colby was so confused. Why did they stop? They both agreed that the fight was bad but they were good now, so what was the hold up? The saying went: 'kiss and make up', Colby wanted his kiss!

"I can't." Ezra said. "I can't keep doing this." Colby reached forward and took Ezra's hand into his own. Ezra's poker face had completely crumbled at that point, his eyes were brimming with tears and he was blinking quickly to try and get rid of them. It was breaking Colby's heart to see him like this.

"That's okay." Colby said reassuringly. "We don't have to do anything right now."

"No. You don't get it, I'm not supposed to do things like that ever." Ezra's voice cracked as he tried to get through his sentences.

"What do you mean? We did things much worse than a kiss last week." Colby said. Last week they were getting each other off, having sex in Ezra's bedroom. Hell, just yesterday they fucked in a bathroom stall. So what was the problem now?

"I know. I know." Ezra paused. "My dad found out you came round on Friday... and I stupidly left the condoms in my bedside draw... this has to stop, Colby." Ezra hardened his face again, forcing away the tears. "Let's be friends. Just friends."

Colby was pretty sure his heart stopped when he said that. It both was and wasn't the outcome he was hoping for. He wanted to press the matter more, try and convince Ezra to give it a second chance, but Ezra had looked so upset. Colby forced himself to put Ezra's needs before his own, even though he really didn't want to. "Okay, just friends."

*

Colby decided to walk home from detention. His dad was a teacher at the school and could've driven him home but the man refused to stay after school longer than he had to. He said that it was Colby's punishment to bear, not his.

During the walk back he got a call from Finley.

"Hey, how's the dinner at Brent's going?" Colby asked.

"Really good. His family are super nice but they are all so tall, man. His parents are both well over 6 foot, pretty sure his dad is near 7 foot actually. You can totally see where he gets his height from. Even his sister is over 6 foot and she's 15! Bro, I feel tiny in this household and I can't even be mad about it because they're all so nice. I'm hiding from the giants in their bathroom right now." Finley laughed at the other end of the phone, then he became Serious Finley. "Did you talk to Sophie?"

"No, I didn't get the chance. She has been acting weird lately, right? Like it isn't just me?"

"Nah, it's not just you. I think it's all because of her new Ezra obsession. She really likes him but sending that picture. I never would've guessed that was her but love does funny things to people."

"For fucks sake, Fin. You have one successful crush and now you think you're a love guru." Colby laughed. "I talked to Ezra, we decided to be friends."

"Friends-with-benefits or just friends?"

"Just friends. He said something about his dad finding out I was at his on Friday. Maybe it's for the best, I'm not even gay."

Finley let out a huge sigh. "Man, you've had sex with a guy, that's pretty gay."

"But I'm still attracted to girls." Which was true. Colby had considered being gay but he still liked women and he'd considered being straight but he liked men, it was too confusing.

"This is going to blow your mind, man. There's this thing called bisexuality. It means you like girls and boys. Does that solve your problem?" Finley might not be a love guru but he could be a sexuality one instead.

"Yeah it does. Cool." He felt a bit better for having a word that explained his attraction, it seemed to fit quite well too.

"I gotta go now, Brent's mom has made lasagne. I already love her. We'll figure out a Sophie confrontation plan tomorrow. See ya."

"Bye."

The remainder of his walk home was filled with the single thought that he'd probably kissed Ezra for the last time today.